


The Madi of it All

by mariposaeli



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Cheating, F/F, Madi is Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin's Child, Minor Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Pregnant Clarke Griffin, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 26,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27762886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariposaeli/pseuds/mariposaeli
Summary: Stranded on the ground alone after Praimfaya, Clarke makes a startling discovery and finds a new reason to survive.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake & Madi, Clarke Griffin & Madi, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 88
Kudos: 187





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For clarification: This story takes place around the end of season four, and the beginning of season five. Lexa never dies, but everything else remains the same.

She felt as though she had been walking forever, though it had only been a few hours. For as far as she could see, it was all sand. For miles and miles covered completely in sand. She had already been alone for 42 days, but seeing the vast and empty plain ahead, she began to feel completely and totally alone. Despair and loneliness took over her whole body like a wave. Struggling to breath, Clarke drops to her knees and sheds herself of her hazmat suit.

_"Shit!” Raven had cursed. The rest of the group looked up at her. “The satellite is down, someone needs to fix it manually.” They needed to leave then- Praimfaya had already begun and would take them all with it if they didn’t go._

_“I’ll go, I’ll fix it,” Lexa declared, already out of her seat._

_“Lexa, no, you’ll die,” Clarke tried to argue._

_“You’re my people. I have to go. Don’t wait, just go.” Lexa commanded._

_“Lex,” Clarke had said. She reached for a syringe on the table that they had previously used for experiments. As soon as Lexa had turned around, Clarke stuck with it. Lexa collapsed forward onto Clarke. “Bring her in.” Clarke passed her to Emori, who had stood up as soon as she saw Lexa fall. “And, um, tell her I love her.”_

She really does love her. Even with all the ways they have hurt each other, she really loved her. Probably more than she has, or will, ever love anyone. But it would be five years until she would see her again. Or anyone. What was the point? She suddenly wondered. After failing to enter the bunker because of all the rubble, she doesn’t know. She might not even survive the next five years. It makes her scream. Then, out of nothingness, there is something. A single bird flies overhead, and continues forward.

“That’s it! Show me where you live! Show me!” At first what was a fast walk, quickly turned into a run. “Show me! Show me!” Clarke continues to repeat in a chant. It did. To a beautiful valley. Untouched by Praimfaya. Clarkes run turns into a sprint. Finally arriving, she needs to stop herself from gagging. Praimfaya might have jumped over the valley, but the radiation did not. Men, women and children’s dead bodies surround her. This is where you brought me? Clarke wants to ask the bird. This place of death? She looks up, trying to locate the bird, but it seems to have flown away. Not looking where she is going, Clarke trips. She groans and sits up, suddenly happy to be the only person left on the ground.

It isn’t just her ego that was injured, it seems, because her thigh begins to sting. It’s bleeding, but not badly. It does make her think, though, about other bleeding. At the dropship, right after they arrived, girls used pieces of cotton and would wash and reuse. Afterwards, they used more traditional methods that were brought down with the rest of their people. Though I won’t have to worry about that for a while, Clarke thinks. Using her hands to count, she begins to worry when she needs her second hand. Nine. With the end of the world, and preparations, she must have lost count. She doesn’t want to worry, but she remembers what happened almost nine weeks ago.

_“Hey,” Clarke said, entering Bellamy’s room._

_“Hey, I thought you were in Polis?” He asked, and watched her walk over to his drawers. Clarke rummaged through them, knowing that that's where he stashed his alcohol. She brought the bottle of Monty and Jaspers moonshine over to the couch and took a big swig._

_“I was.” Clarke responded, taking another drink. “I found out that Lexa was with someone while she was away.”_

_“With someone like-”_

_“Yeah like that.” She answered._

_“I didn’t even know you two were together.” Bellamy said as he sat next to her, and took a drink._

_“Yeah, well.” She took the bottle back. “I really liked her. I think I even loved her.” Clarke admitted, taking another big gulp of the moonshine, but choked on it as it went down._

_Bellamy laughed at her, taking back the bottle and took a small sip. "You need to be pretty desperate to drink this moonshine. Drowning your sorrows and all that.”_

_Clarke snatched the bottle back. “What sorrows are you drowning?”_

_When she had woken up the next day in her best friend's bed, she knew had screwed up majorly. They decided mutually that it hadn’t meant anything and it would be best if no one would know._


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks had passed since she first arrived in the valley. It hadn’t taken her long to develop a routine. A nearby lake provides her with fish and freshwater. A farm on the far end of the village was plentiful with crops. In the mornings, Clarke scorges for fruits and vegetables before tending to the rest of the crops. In the afternoon, she heads down to the lake to catch fish and collect water. She doesn’t know whether or not she believed in a God, or any kind of religion, though Lexa certainly did, she spoke to Clarke about it several times. On the Ark, they focused more on science, and anything that couldn’t be proved, was written off as false, or an improbility. Even so, Clarke prays. She can’t be pregnant. She’s the last living person on the ground, a child cannot be raised like that. And anyway, she could not be a mother, with all the horrible atrocities she has been a part of, especially those that were done at her own hands.

Even with all the praying and wishing, she is ill every morning. Like clockwork, her nausea wakes her up just after the sun rises. Sometimes, it gets so bad that she can hardly get out of bed for the day. She has gotten in the habit of collecting food and water for two days-just in case.   
She wakes up one morning, but unlike the other mornings, her nausea was bearable. She even was able to sleep in for a while. She guesses it is around 7:30 or 8. It’s not the only thing that is different, Clarke quickly realizes. A small bump where there wasn’t one yesterday, has appeared on her lower abdomen. Suddenly, all the fear and resentment falls away and she is left with joy and excitement.   
“Hello, little one,” Clarke says rubbing the little bump. She is about 12 weeks along, and finally feels the joy her mom ensured her that she would feel one day. Abby would tell little Clarke, when she was volunteering at the clinic and a pregnant woman had come and gone, that when she was much older, around 30, Abby would say hopefully, she would experience the joy that all the women before have felt. The feeling of happiness when your baby moves around, the excitement when you have found the perfect name, and the anxiety, but in the best way, when you go into labor and finally get to meet your child. She may be only 18, but she understands. She wonders if her mom and dad were this happy. Her grandparents, and her parents' friends. She wonders if Bellamy would be this happy. If anyone in the world is as happy as she is. She wonders briefly if it’s just her hormones, but ignores it, because she is too happy. Clarke has a reason to live again. 

“Hi Bellamy? Can you hear me? Are you alive?” Clarke has finally built up the courage to use the radio. She has been meaning to use it for weeks, but with the uncertainty of her situation, she didn’t even know what to say.   
The radio stays silent. “It’s been 65 days since you left. How is it going up there? The algae farm must be getting up and running.” She pauses. If they could hear her, should she tell them? Knowing her friends the way she knew her friends, she knew they would try to come back down, but it was not safe down here yet. “I have news.” She settles on. “It’s big news.” She sighs, knowing they should be having this conversation in a completely different manner. “Anyway, I tried the bunker and they’ve gone dark. I tried to get to them, but there was too much rubble.” If they were listening, Clarke wonders, what would they want to hear? What would she want to hear? “I’m doing well. I have food, and water. Oh and shelter. Don’t worry about me, please.”


	3. Chapter 3

_Lexa had been home for days, but Clarke had hardly seen her. She had been gone for weeks, on a victory tour from finally defeating ALIE. She seemed to be avoiding her-always finding excuses to get out of a conversation or even spending time together. Clarke caught her in multiple lies. She gathered all the courage she needed, and confronted her. She marched straight into Lexa’s room._

_“Klark?” Lexa asked in her trigedasleng accent that Clarke loved so much. “Are you alright?”_

_“No, I am not alright. What’s up with you? Ever since you came home you have been acting strange. What happened out there?” Clarke asked her._

_“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Lexa responded, standing up straighter, if it was possible._

_“So you haven’t been lying to me? Or avoiding me?” Clarke asked, growing more frustrated. She could handle whatever she was going to tell her, no matter how hard, but she could not handle being lied to._

_“No, I have not.”_

_“Oh, so what? I’m making things up? Are you calling me crazy?” Clarke argued. Even with all her anger she realized she was being a little bit crazy._

_“No, Clarke, that is not what I was saying.” Lexa responded. Her calm, cool tone, pissed Clarke off even more. “Is there something I could do for you?”_

_“Yeah, you could tell me what the hell is going on!” Clarke nearly yelled. Lexa looked over at her. Clarke watched her for a while, and remembered the love instead of her anger. She took a deep breath. “Please. I’ve been going over it and over it in my head what could possibly going on with you. Are you removing us from the coalition or going to war with Skaikru? Or are you taking out one of friends- I know in the past you have had trouble trusting Octavia, like after the missile, I really hope you’re not back there. I feel like we are all finally in a good place and I don’t want to risk this peace-even Azgeda is still at peace, with King Roan on the throne. So please if you are planning something with them, and it threatens Skaikru-”_

_“Klark-” Lexa finally interrupts Clarke's ramblings. “Stop! I do not have anything political planned. You are right, we are at peace and I do not want anything to risk that either.” Lexa walked closer to her. “You are also right, I think I was avoiding you, though not purposely. I have something I need to tell you, but I worried about your reaction. While I was away, I was with someone else. I was dealing with the pressu-”_

_“Wait,” Clarke interrupted. “With someone, you mean like,”_

_“In bed, yes.” Lexa confirmed. In her surprise Clarke was speechless. “My peoples ways are different, we are not monogamous,but I know we were trying something different. I am sorry, Clarke.” Somehow, when Lexa said her name, it woke Clarke up. Without another word, she left. She ignored all of Lexa’s attempts to call her name._

“It’s been 91 days. Are you all still okay? If you were ever okay. I’m going with the assumption that you are. It’s what’s keeping me sane. And talking to you everyday. Even though I’m, obviously, not actually talking to you. Anyway everything is still good down here.” Clarke says. “I’m staying busy down here. Berries have just come into season. They’re not very sweet, but they’re beautiful. I think it’s what they make the paints and dyes out of.” Clarke pauses the transmission, and takes a deep breath. She has been thinking of this for weeks, and finally ready to say it. “Lexa? Are you there? If you can hear me, I want to say that I forgive you. And, also, I’m sorry for my own mistakes.” She pauses again. “Not mistake,” she tells her belly. “No, not mistake. Inhibited choice?” No that wasn’t right either. She has months to think of the right words. Years, really, until the baby can fully understand. “Anyway,” she says, restarting the transmission. “Lexa, I love you.”

On the Ark, there are some old wives tales that predict the sex of a fetus. Due to rationing, routine ultrasounds are only available upon necessity, many families need to wait until the baby is born to discover the sex of their baby. Her mom had told her that her mom, Clarke’s grandma, knew that Clarke was going to be a girl just on the way that Abby was carrying. Of course her mom, being a woman of science, was suspicious, but her mom was convinced. Her grandma had, of course, been right. As a child, Clarke would stay with her grandma while her parents needed to work, and she had taught Clarke “the gift,” as some people would call it.

Anyway, Clarke is convinced she is having a little girl. She’s carrying high and has been craving sweet foods. She knows it’s more science and hormones that go into how a woman carries and what food she craves, but she just has a feeling. She knows it’s still early, but she already is trying to find the perfect name.

“Abby?” Clarke asks. She doesn’t know what she expects to happen, maybe the baby starts kicking really hard, or doing flips or something. Either way, the name doesn’t feel right. “Aurora?” She knew that Bellamy and Octavia loved their mom, but with everything that happened she didn’t know how they would feel about it. “Sky?” That one made her literally laugh out loud. No, she was not going to that. Maybe something simple, but elegant. “Jane? Allison?” That made her stop. She was not naming her child after A.L.I.E. Girls' names seem to be a bust.

On to boys’ names. “Bellamy?” Saying his name makes her feel incredibly lonely. She misses her best friend. “Jake.” She puts that on her maybe list.

She was already 16 weeks along. She hasn’t felt the baby kick yet, but, from what she learned from her mom’s clinic, it was coming any day now. Even though she was weeks into her second trimester, she was still getting nauseous everyday, and vomiting almost every morning. Her back pain started a couple of weeks ago, and she knew it was only going to get worse. She already has been collecting newborn and baby things from the nearby homes. A few of the women obviously had babies, their houses were full of things for them. Even though the grounders' ways for raising babies and children were vastly different than the ways she used to on the Ark, she would adapt. After all that's what she does best. Adapt.


	4. Chapter 4

“Day 178. I’m feeling happy. Everyday means it’s closer to your return.” And another big arrival, she thinks rubbing her growing belly. She is already in her third trimester- 28 weeks. Though, she is already over being pregnant. She is still dealing with morning sickness, and the back pain that started in the beginning of her second trimester has only gotten worse. She can never find a comfortable position. She even has a hard time getting up for her normal hunting and gathering. Even with all of that, she’s happy. She can feel her baby changing position getting ready for the birth in a few months. She’s ready to meet her child. She often worries, though, about the birth and how she's going to do it alone. She has seen a lot of emergency c-sections and women in very dangerous situations when in labor. It makes her scared, but she puts that in the “to worry about later” section. Already there is how she is going to get her people out of the bunker in five years. She tries to focus on the positives. “I found some old books, recently. I think they may be children's books,” she laughs, “but it’s keeping me busy. One of the stories about this grounder warrior from Shallow Valley. She reminds me of you, Lexa. A young warrior who goes on to lead her people. Her name is Madi.” 

The rest of her pregnancy is relatively easy. The morning sickness subsides around the 29th week. The feeling of the baby moving and kicking is her motivation to continue each day. Her labor and delivery is less good. She is in labor for 30 hours. A few hours before the birth, Clarke begins bleeding. She struggles to remember what to do. None of her training prepared her for giving birth alone, without any medical equipment. At some point she makes herself to the lake. She knows that even on the Ark, some women choose to have a water birth. At the time she didn’t understand why anyone would have a natural birth when they had the technology and ability to give birth without pain.   
At the lake, is where her little warrior is born. At the ready, she has her hazmat suit, just in case. Almost as soon as the baby is born, Clarke pricks the baby’s little finger.   
“My little Natblida.” Clarke coos when she sees the dark blood spill out. “My sweet Madi,” she says kissing her daughter's head. 

None of her updates refer to Madi. She knows that they would be down as soon as they knew. She’s convinced herself, some months ago, that they can hear her, but are unable to communicate back. Clarke knows, deep down, that it’s probably not true, but it makes her feel good thinking that they can hear her. Her communications continue daily. 

Infancy is trickier than Clarke had imagined.   
Firstly, and the longest phase, is the make-shift diapers Clarke makes. Her original design has failed completely. Clarke needs to clean both herself and Madi, as well as all their clothes. Her second design is a little better, but hardly holds much at all. Clarke is constantly needing to change diapers, even throughout the night. Her third attempt works the best, and is the final product.  
Secondly, and the most frightening to Clarke, was that Madi had a hard time latching. Down here, there was no other option. On the Ark, there is formula, and even donated breast milk, but down here there’s only one. For two whole days, Madi refuses to eat. They are both exhausted and sob for the entirety of the those days. Until, miraculously, Madi does it. She latches successfully and feeds. Her belly is full and is finally able to sleep. 

The potty training stage is also difficult. It is around the time when Madi turns two and half, that she shows signs of being ready. And honestly? Clarke was tired of changing, washing and making diapers. The biggest issue Clarke has, is trying to teach Madi to use the toilet, without an actual toilet. Little Madi needs to squat behind a tree, just like Clarke does. They have a few initial accidents, where Madi hasn’t yet learned how far she needs to squat, and ends up wetting her clothes. “Sorry, mommy,” Madi tells her mom as she washes off the wet clothes in the lake.   
Clarke just nods. “Accidents happen.”   
“Yeah, accidents happen,” Madi repeats with her little lisp and a smile. Later that day, Clarke drops some of their food after tripping over one of Madi’s toys. “It’s ok mommy,” Madi tells her, helping her clean up, “accidents happen.”

The hardest, though, is when Madi is three and a half, and she asks where the people are in her mommy’s stories. Clarke does her best to explain, but she doesn’t know how much her daughter understands.   
“So my daddy is up there?” Madi asks, pointing at the stars. Clarke nods in affirmations. “Like Uncle Wells and Grandpa?” It does make Clarke laugh to herself, though, to think of her mom being “down there.”   
She needs to explain the difference between space travel and the theory of Heaven to her three old, and Clarke wishes for someone to tell her if she’s doing this the right way. 

After Madi’s fourth birthday is when she starts being homeschooled. She’s taught practical life skills like fishing and collecting crops, but also traditional education, like her letters and numbers. She catches on quickly, like Clarke knew she would; Madi is very smart. She starts reading and writing a few months later. Not too much longer, when she shows proficiency in those, Clarke begins her with math and science. Madi announces that they are her favorites, just after art, just like her mommy. Though Clarke does see a lot of Bellamy in her as well. It makes her smile, but it also makes her sad to think he’s missing all of this. 

Madi turns five and Clarke realizes something must be wrong. It had been five years and three months meaning that her friends could have come back down to the ground by then. Madi’s fifth birthday comes and goes and soon she is five and a half. Clarke decides to teach her how to drive the rover. She’s a little girl now and Clarke thinks that it’s as good a time as any. She attaches a plank of wood to Madi’s foot with a strap to attach to the top like a sandal. At first, Madi is really bad. Like dangerously bad and Clarke wonders if it was the right choice at all to teach her to drive. She wonders how long it will be before she will seriously injure herself, or Clarke, or even kill them. But, like Madi does, one day she just gets it. She drives as well as anyone, but Clarke continues to worry about her focus. 

Clarke wakes up, she gets right on the radio, like she does everyday. “If you can hear me, if you’re still alive, it’s been 2,199 days since Praimfaya. I don’t know why I still do this everyday. Maybe it’s my way of staying sane, not forgetting who I am,” she pauses. “Who I was. It’s safe for you to come down for over a year now. Why haven’t you?” She asks pausing again. “The bunkers gone dark. I tried to get them out for a while, but there’s too much rubble. I haven’t made contact with them either.” Clarke pauses again. “Anyway, I still have hope. Tell Raven to aim for the one spot of green and you’ll find me. The rest of the planet from what I’ve seen, basically sucks.” Clarke looks up at loud noise from above. “Nevermind, I see you!” Clarke runs to the rover.   
“Wake up my little Natblida,” she says, gently waking up her daughter. “Time to wake up.”   
“No lessons today Mommy.” Madi argues, and rolls over. The loud noise of the dropship falling to Earth, makes Madi shoot up and run outside. Clarke busies herself with getting the rover ready to drive to wherever they drop.   
“I thought you said it was a small ship?” Madi asks, waving her hands frantically at the incoming ship.   
“What?” Clarke asks, assuming everything looks big to a little kid. She finally looks up. “Madi go get mommy’s rifle.”   
“But you told me not to touch it.” Madi reminds her.   
“Madi, go.” Without another word, Madi goes.   
“Here,” Madi hands the weapon over. Silently, Clarke takes it and looks through scope. It definitely wasn’t their ship. Eligius Prisoner Ship. Clarke looks back at her little girl. This isn’t good. The only threat Madi has ever faced was two winters ago, and what seemed like the never ending freeze. Madi didn’t know about prisoners and the only bad people were those in her mom’s stories. Clarke carefully left out certain details when telling stories to her daughter.   
“Madi listen.” Clarke kneels down next to Madi to get on her level. “That’s not your daddy, or my friends. Those are bad people.”   
“Bad people?” Madi asks with eyes blown wide.   
“Yeah, mommy thinks so.” Clarke takes a second to think. “Come Madi.” She runs with the little girl on her hip, not trusting her little legs to go as fast as Clarke needs them to. Clarke runs.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on posting this chapter later on, but there was a little bit of confusion in the comments, so I thought I should just post it now. This is a flashback explaining how Lexa survived.

_It all happened so fast. Just that morning Clarke was the happiest she’s been since been on the ground. She was with the girl she was beginning to love. The next minute, or so it seemed, she was getting shot at. She barely moved over and was going to fight back, when she heard a small gasp behind her. Lexa collapsed in her arms like a rag doll._

_“Lexa! Lexa!” Clarke yelled._

_“Ai gonplei ste odon.” Lexa gasped out._

_“No, no, Lexa you are not dying.” Clarke responded more desperately. She pushed the blanket into the wound._

_“Move over, this is what she wants.” Titus said._

_“Get me medical gear, anything will do.” Clarke told him._

_“Stop, she doesn’t want this.” Titus said more firmly._

_“Do you want to have the commander's blood on your hands?” Titus stepped backwards._

_“Yeah, I didn’t think so. Go.” When he left, Clarke was able to continue trying to save Lexa._

_“Klark,” Lexa said with all the strength she had._

_“Shh, shh, you need to rest. You’re going to be okay.”_

_“What the hell is happening?” Octavia asked. She handed Clarke bag full of grounder medical equipment. “Some guy gave this to me and told me to bring it in. What the hell happened?” Clarke didn’t answer, instead searched the bag for anything usable. She found needles and thread, as well as tweezers and a pair of scissors. She cursed under her breath and got to work._

_“Lexa was shot.” Clarke said, trying to control the shakiness in her voice._

_“I see that,” Octavia responded in shock. “What happened?” She asked again._

_“Titus shot her,” Clarke answered, threading the needle._

_“That doesn’t make any sense, Clarke. Why would he do that? He’s loyal to her.” Octavia asked, still confused._

_"He missed. He was trying to shoot me.” Clarke answered. She carefully flipped Lexa over. There’s no exit wound._

_“Someone tried to shoot you?” Octavia asked. “Are you okay?” Clarke ignored her and cut off the bottom half of Lexa’s shirt. From the excess she it to used it to soak up the blood._

_"Octavia,” Clarke said, finally looking up at her._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Shut up.” Clarke told her. “Give me that bottle,” she said, pointing to the bottle of alcohol on the table behind Octavia. Octavia did without another word. Clarke pours the alcohol over hands, before taking a swig. “Lexa, this is going to hurt.” Lexa’s eyes went wide, but she didn’t say anything. Suddenly, Clarkes vision blurred. Her first thought is that she was shot too, or at least had some injury that was causing it._

_"Clarke,” Octavia said softly. Clarke looked up at her. “You’re crying.” Clarke blinked a few times before the words set in. She could see the wetness coat Lexa’s stomach. “You don’t have to do this. You shouldn’t do this, isn’t there a law or something? Not treating loved ones.”_

_“Who else is going to do this Octavia?” Clarke asked, pointedly. “You’re not completely wrong though. Get a transport ready. I’m going to stabilize her and take her to my mom.”_

_“Clarke-”_

_“O just go. Please.” Clarke pleaded. Octavia, hesitantly, does. Clarke took a deep breath. Her care and love for Lexa slides away as Clarke’s doctor persona took over. She recoated her hands in the alcohol and reached in the bloody hole to take out the bullet. Lexa groaned, but stayed mostly still._

_“You’re doing great.” Clarke encouraged. With the bullet out, Clarke pushed the rest of the cut off portion of Lexa’s shirt inside the wound._

_“Clarke, they’re ready for you guys.” Octavia said busting through the door._

_“One minute.” Clarke poured the alcohol over the needle and quickly, but carefully stitched up the wound. “Ok, tell them to get her.”_

_Lexa remained in a coma in Arkadia for the next month, and in critical care for the next few. Officials in Polis started the next conclave. They were sure that Lexa would die, or be tainted from the Sky peoples technology. Clarke was able to receive the flaim, with the help of Gaia, without killing Lexa. They defeated A.L.I.E. together. Afterwards they put the flaim back into Lexa, Clarke had had enough, even with only the short amount of time it was in her. Also, Clarke knew that Lexa would kill her, probably literally, if she woke up without it. It was returned to Lexa without a hitch, and her recovery came shortly after._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the continuation of chapter 4

“What’s happening Mommy?” Madi keeps repeating, without receiving an answer. In seemingly the middle of nowhere, Clarke puts Madi down. “Mommy?” Clarke picks up leaves and twigs to reveal a hole in the ground in between two large trees.

“Madi, I need you to be very brave right now. Okay?” Clarke asks, picking up Madi and putting her in the hole.

“Mommy, please.”

“I need you to stay here, and stay quiet okay? They can’t find you.” Clarke turns around to wipe the tears from her eyes so she won't show Madi her fear.

“I’m afraid,” Madi admits.

“No, shh baby. Tell yourself that you are not afraid. Say it.” Clarke tells her.

“I am not afraid.” Madi repeats.

“Ok, little one, good job keep saying that. Lie down.”

“I am not afraid.” Madi says again, lying down.

“Madi. Here, take this. Remember how to use it?” Clarke hands her the hand gun from her waistband. Madi nods. Clarke replaces the leaves and twigs and she can hear Madi whispering to herself “I am not afraid.” Her stomach flips thinking of young Octavia needing to do the same thing, when she was even younger than Madi.

Clarke hears someone screaming. Her bear traps must have gotten someone. She sprints to the edge of the ridge. He is stuck with spikes through his abdomen. She can almost hear Madi’s little voice telling her to not let him suffer. Just like when they are hunting or fishing, she always insists on a quick death.  
With her rifle pointing at his head, it would be quick. A noise deeper in the forest sends her attention away from her target. More of the invaders arrive. To steal her village, her and Madi’s home. Maybe even kill her or both of them. No, Clarke won’t let that happen. She aims again, fires multiple shots, killing a few men. She can’t hear exactly what they are saying, but they are looking in her direction, and she can assume.  
They pull out a giant weapon, and shoot it at her. The ground explodes around her, like the missile at Ton DC. A rock strikes her side. Finally getting to her senses, Clarke stands up and runs. Her head pounds and her eyes blur, but she keeps running. As well as she can with an open wound in her side. She wants to run and swoop Madi up and keep her safe in her arms. She knows that she needs to run in the opposite direction. To lead them away from the little girl, because she knows they will catch her and they do.

She is brought to an old church. Her and Madi used to play here. They would play hide and seek, and without fail, Madi would always hide under the same pew. Clarke would walk around the whole church pretending she didn’t know where she was. Madi would giggle, but Clarke still wouldn’t let up, and kept searching for her. It seemed like such a peaceful place. The whole village did.

Following her capture, she remembers Lincoln and how when they brought him for questioning, he pretended he didn’t speak English. It worked for him, why not her? Clarke wonders. She refuses to utter a single word. Even when one of them hit them. Then again, Clarke remembers, they tortured Lincoln.

“Hey! Hey! Stop, we need her!” Another yells, pushing him away from Clarke.

“None of us is here without Shaw,” a woman tells the man that hit her, pushing the men away from each other. She’s their leader, Clarke observes.

“None of us is here without me, either.” The man responds. “You remember that,” he adds as they break away. The woman pushes him back.

“You have a role to play. We’re all upset over the people we lost today. Take a team and sweep the woods,” she demands. He goes without another word. The woman walks around Clarke.

“You see this?” She asks, pointing to Clarke’s blood that has spilled onto the carpet.

“Blood alteration,” the man they called Shaw says, “like they had on Eligius 3. Two suns, no sunscreen needed.” He recalls. So they did know about nightblood, Clarke thinks. What else do they know?

“Must be how they survive down here.” The woman assumes. “Bring me my med kit,” she says into the radio.  
Clarke can hear the men, even the one from before who hit her, over the radio. As long as she listens, she can be sure they haven’t caught Madi.

“We got off on the wrong foot, you and I,” the woman begins. “We had no idea anyone was alive down here. How could we have? We were just trying to get home. Imagine our surprise when we found out there was no home for us to get back to and then your people started killing mine.” She doesn’t know anything, Clarke realizes. “Surely you can understand why I’m upset.” A man talks again on the radio, dragging Clarkes attention, and gaze, to it. “Just like you were upset when we took your village. I don’t blame you. When a fascist government tried to take my home, I wanted blood, too, and I got it.” Again, someone checks in on the radio, and takes Clarke’s attention. They were nearing where she had left Madi. She can feel her heart rate pick up, can this other woman tell? Can she tell that she is anxious?

“She might not even know English.” Shaw says to the woman.

“No, she does. Every time someone checks in on the radio, she listens. She wants us to believe she doesn’t speak English so we might let something slip,” the woman responds. “We’ll figure out who you are trying to protect and then we’ll get more information out of you.” Clarke still remains silent.

“There’s movement in the woods!” Someone shouts through the radio. All three of them stop to pay attention.

“Stop!” Clarke finally shouts. “Stop, she’s just a child.”

“She speaks.” The woman says, but doesn’t seem very surprised. “Fire at will.” She tells her men.

“Please! Stop!” Clarke thrashes around in her restraints.

“We’re passing by a lake on our left side, and bushes on the right.” A man says over the radio.

“Stop! I know where they are. She’s leading them into a trap. That’s our summer hunting grounds.” Clarke yells. “Your men will die! There’s bear traps all over those woods. Let her go and I’ll tell you anything you want.”

“Stand down.” The woman finally says. Clarke feels like she can finally breathe.

“If I stand down, she’ll get away. I have the shot lined up.” The man tells her.

“Falk if McCreary disobeys, shoot him in the leg. Harris, if Falk disobeys, shoots him in the head.” The woman commands.

“Standing down.” McCreary finally relents.

“Good choice. There may be bear traps around your position. Check it out and report back. Over.” The woman tells them.

“Son of a bitch. Another bear trap. Almost stepped right on it.” McCreary reports.

“Report to base camp. Over and out.” The woman puts her radio away.

“Thank you.” Clarke says sincerely. This woman just saved her daughter's life.

“Thank you for telling the truth.” The woman sits back down in front of her. “How many more of you are there?”

“None, it’s just the two of us,” though Clarke is telling the truth, the woman looks suspicious.

“How did the world end?” The woman asks.

“Which time?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There has been continuous confusion about Clarkes relationships in this story. 1. Clexa will be endgame. 2. Bellamy and Clarke are just best friends who have a baby together. Hope this clears things up :)

“On the Ark, they told us it was the Chinese, but that wasn’t true.” Clarke is now surrounded by more of the prisoners. “It was an AI named A.L.I.E.”

“We see about five people out here.” A voice over the radio reports.

“You said there wasn’t anyone else.” The woman says, getting to her feet.

“There isn’t. There shouldn’t be.” Clarke says in confusion. She honestly has no idea who that could be- her and Madi are the last living people on Earth.

“Get the collar.”

“How many more are there?” The woman asks.

“I don’t know about anyone else. It’s just the two of us.” The shock throws her to the ground, spasming. “Please I wasn’t lying.”

“Hit her again.” Another shock sends Clarke spasming.

“I don’t know who that was.” Clarke says, struggling to get her words out.

“Hit her again.” A shock is sent through Clarke again, spasming against the hard ground. She lies on the ground in agony.  
Lights get closer and larger in front of her. Clarke realizes who it is.

“Madi.” Clarke gasps out.

“On my command.” The woman tells her people. “Slowly, with your hands up.” After a moment, someone is coming out of the drivers side. The hands are too big to be Madi’s, Clarke realizes. Before she can even see him clearly, Clarke figures out who it is.  
Seeing his face, Clarke mutters, “Bellamy.”

“I’m unarmed. I just want to talk.” Bellamy tells them.

“Why should we talk to you?” The woman asks.

“I’ll give you 250 reasons.” Slowly, Bellamy raises his right hand to reveal a mug. A mug? Clarke wonders. It must mean something to the prisoners, because they stand down. “Now, is there anyway we can make some sort of a deal?”

“She must be very important to you.”

“She is,” Bellamy answers, looking at Clarke. The passenger side door swings open, and out runs a smaller person.

“Mommy!” Madi yells, running towards her mom. Guns are at attention again, pointing at the child. Bellamy reaches out, and carries Madi back behind him. “I’m sorry. You told me to wait, but I couldn’t wait anymore.”

“Stand down.” The woman commands. “Guns down! Take her collar off and let her go with them.”

“Diyoza?”

“Are you disobeying a direct order?” Diyoza asks.

“No ma’am.” Shaw comes over to Clarke and removes the collar from around her neck. As soon as it’s off, Clarke is running full speed to Madi.

“My baby. My brave baby!” Clarke cries, picking up her little girl. She makes momentary eye contact with Bellamy, but breaks it as soon as she makes it, digging her face deeper into Madi’s shoulder. Clarke takes Madi to the back of the rover, where she lies down. It is way past the time Clarke usually puts Madi to bed, so she is not surprised that Madi’s exhausted. Clarke slips into the passenger seat, while Bellamy sits in the driver's seat.

“We need to talk,” Bellamy says as he starts driving. Clarke stays silent, just nodding.


	8. Chapter 8

“I was going to tell you.” Is the only thing Clarke can seem to say.

“I know,” Bellamy responds. “So I’m right in my assumption? She’s mine?” His voice is tense and Clarke wonders if he’s mad or just regular brooding Bellamy.

“Yeah,” Clarke answers.

“She’s six?”

“Five, but she will be six in a few months.” Clarke explains. Bellamy nods. “How did you find her?” Clarke wonders.

“I didn’t. She found me. Well she found us, specifically Lexa. She said she recognized her from all her mom’s drawings.” Bellamy tells her with a smirk. Clarke lowers her head in embarrassment.

“Lexa’s here? And everyone?” She asks, getting a bit anxious.

“Yeah, we set up camp at the drop ship a few miles away. Raven and Murphy stayed back on the Eligius ship.” Clarke remains quiet. She wasn’t even aware they were ever on the Eligius ship, but she guesses it makes sense. That must have been where Bellamy got the mug, and where the other 250 of their men are. “When Madi came, she scared the prisoners away. She popped out of the woods and only lowered her weapon when she saw Lexa. She ran right up to her and hugged her. She said that you needed help. Heda’s help.” Clarke feels embarrassed again, like she’s called out for her silly little crush. “I didn’t even know you were still alive.” Bellamy tells her. Clarke turns her body to look at him. “When this little kid popped out of the woods, I thought she must have come from the bunker. For a minute I thought she was Octavia’s. Madi looks like her at that age.” This makes Clarke smile. She had thought that Madi looked like Octavia with her dark hair and light eyes. She certainly doesn’t look like her.

“What did Lexa say?” Clarke asks. Part of her doesn’t know, but she knows she needs to.

“She didn’t say much,” Bellamy starts cautiously. “Madi was scared and just kept repeating that her mom needed help. She couldn’t remember your name.” Which makes sense to Clarke because she doesn’t remember ever telling Madi her name. “When she explained that you guys lived in the village alone for her whole life, we put it together. She wanted to come, but I saw that look in her eyes, like she wanted to kill everyone, so I thought I better come. I didn’t want her being emotional to get in the way of getting you peacefully.”

“Emotional? Was she mad?” Clarke asks.

“She wasn’t mad, necessarily. She was very Lexa about it.” Bellamy answers honestly.

“What did she say to you? Madi, I mean,” Clarke asks.

“She didn’t really say much. Does she know?” Bellamy responds, looking back at Madi through the rearview mirror.

“She knows you’re her dad, but maybe she just hasn’t put it together that you are her dad, you know? Or maybe she’s a little overwhelmed, I mean she hasn’t ever seen anyone besides me.” Clarke answers. “Do you want her to know? I mean, I feel like this was just thrown on you. But you do have a choice.”

“Of course I want her to know.” Bellamy tells her, looking at Clarke like she’s crazy. “I want to be her dad. As long as that’s okay with both you and her.” Clarke smiles at him.

“She’s really smart,” Clarke tells him. “And really silly too. She reminds me of you.”

“She’s silly so she reminds you of me?” Bellamy asks with a laugh.

“Okay, maybe not the silliness,” Clarke corrects. “Just her. When she gets grumpy with me, she gets all broody, and that’s totally you.”

“First the silliness and now the brooding? You’re really making me look great here.” Bellamy says, faking offense. Clarke laughs loudly.

“Mama?” A little voice in the backseat says.

“Oh hey, baby, sorry did I wake you up?” Clarke asks, turning around. Madi nods, and climbs up into her mom’s lap. She’s grumpy, eyebrows furrowed. Clarke points to her. “See?” Bellamy looks over and exaggerates an eye roll. It makes Madi giggle. “Hey Madi,” Clarke says. Madi turns around to look at her mom. “Do you know who this is?” She points to Bellamy. Madi shakes her head no. “You don’t know?”

“Murphy?” Madi guesses. Clarke roars with laughter.

“Ouch. That hurts. You think I’m Murphy?” Bellamy asks his daughter. Madi nods, a little less confidently.

“You’re funny.” Madi says with a little shrug. Clarke nods behind her. She makes a good point.

“I’m not Murphy,” Bellamy corrects, sending a pointed look at Clarke, who feigns innocence. “I’m Bellamy.”

“Bellamy?” Madi asks. “I’m sorry. I don’t memember your name.”

“We’re still working on our ‘r’s’” Clarke explains.

“You don’t ‘memember’ me?” Bellamy asks. “That hurts almost as bad as being confused with Murphy. I thought you said you told her about me?”

“I did,” Clarke corrects. “Madi, Bellamy,” she points, “is your daddy. Bellamy is just his other name.”

“You said he was up there!” Madi argues, pointing to the sky.

“He was,” Clarke affirms, “but now he’s down here. He came with Lexa and mommy’s other friends.”

“And Auntie O? And Grandma?” Madi asks.

“No, little one, just our friends from the sky.” Clarke explains. “But you’re daddy is right here.” She reminds her easily distracted child.

“You’re my dad?” Madi asks, turning fully to face Bellamy.

“Yep,” Bellamy answers.

“I’m Madiren!” Madi says, introducing herself, again.

“Madiren?” Bellamy asks Clarke.

“No, it’s just Madi.” Clarke answers. “She’s named after a character from a Grounder children’s book, a warrior named Madiren. I shortened it, but she still insists that her name is Madiren.” Clarke explains with a shrug.

“Madiren.” Madi repeats.

“She really likes the story,” Clarke says.

“Daddy?” Madi asks. Neither he nor Clarke are used to him being called that, and they share a look.

“Yes Madiren,” Bellamy answers. Madi’s face lights up at the name, her missing bottom teeth revealed. Her mom never calls her that, no matter how many times she requests it.

“Why did you come down here?” She asks, her eyes getting big. Just as Clarke is about to cut in and explain, Bellamy answers.

“To be with you.”


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of the drive is done in relative silence. Everything Clarke and Bellamy need to discuss, like the prisoners, can’t be done in front of Madi. Madi sits on Clarke’s lap and looks back and forth between her mom and her dad like she can’t believe this is real. Bellamy smiles at her, or makes a face, and Madi smiles. Clarke already knows they are going to get along well. She can see Bellamy’s walls be lowered with Madi around. He already loves her. Which isn’t a big surprise to Clarke. Madi is not hard to love. 

“So here we are,” Bellamy tells the girls as they pull up to the campground. Clarke loves her friends, she really does. They’re family. But even with all the love and trust, she’s nervous. She hasn’t seen them in over six years, not to mention that she has a whole child now.   
Monty and Harper are waiting for them. Bellamy gets out first, giving them a tight smile. Next is Clarke, who gives them a little wave, before reaching into the rover to grab Madi. She holds Madi on her hip, and Madi puts head automatically on her mom’s shoulder. She’s tired, Clarke knows, not only is it way past the time she usually goes to bed, but also with all the events of the day. 

Even though they have already met Madi, Monty and Harper are still surprised when they see Madi with Clarke. Something about Clarke being a “mommy,” is still strange. When they make their way over to them, Harper jumps forward giving Clarke a hug. “Hi Clarke.” Madi immediately recoils. “Sorry, little one,” Harper says with a little smile. Madi turns to her mom with a smile. 

“That’s what I call her too,” Clarke explains, with a small laugh. 

“Nice to see you, Clarke,” Monty tells her quietly as he hugs her too. 

“Madi, this is Harper and Monty, remember I told you about them?” Madi nods. “This is Madi, my daughter.” 

“Nice to meet you, little one,” Harper says. Madi smiles at them. 

“My mom told me all about you,” Madi explains. “Do you know my dad? I just met him.” Madi asks, pointing over her shoulder to Bellamy. Monty and Harper make eye contact quickly, before sharing a look with Bellamy and Clarke. They give a small nod of confirmation. 

Emori and Echo sit by the fire. As soon as they see Bellamy, Clarke and Madi near, they stand.   
“Good to see you Clarke,” Emori says. “Looks like you’ve been busy,” she jokes, gesturing to Madi. Clarke laughs, moreso out of the pure awkwardness of the situation. Bellamy steps closer to the girls. 

“If you want to catch up with them, I can take Madi to bed,” Bellamy volunteers. Emori and Echo look up at them in surprise. Harper nods, like Bellamy and Clarke had, in confirmation. 

“Thanks, but I should go with her. She’s never slept without me, so I don’t know how she’d do alone.” Clarke answers. She knows she should have put Madi in her own bed a long time ago, but she kind of loved her nighttime snuggles. “Oh and, um, where’s Lexa?” 

“Heda! Heda! Heda!” Madi chants. Lexa has always been one of her favorite “characters” in her mom’s stories. Clarke may have something to do with that. She made Lexa the hero in all her stories, which, for the most part, she was.   
The rest of the group points to the left of Madi and Clarke. 

“She’s sleeping,” Echo tells her. “Anyway, Bellamy I think we need to talk.” She takes Bellamy’s hand and drags him away from the group. 

“Oh, are they together?” Clarke asks. Last thing she knew of Echo was that she was a spy for Azgeda and she was trying to kill Octavia. Six years is a long time, she reminds herself. 

“Yeah, happened not long after we got to the ring,” Emori explains. Clarke smiles to herself. 

“Wow,” Clarke says with a laugh. “Anyway, we’ll just go,” Clarke points to her right, “to bed.” Clarke turns to walk away before adding, “it’s good to see you Emori.” 

When Clarke wakes up in the morning, it’s quiet. Madi is still asleep and for a moment it feels as though nothing changed. The sun has just risen, so Clarke thinks she should as well. She kisses Madi’s head lightly, and walks over to the fire. It is recently lit, Clarke can tell. She notices Lexa sitting on the far end. Now or never, Clarke tells herself. 

“Morning,” Clarke greets. Lexa looks from Clarke, back to her fire. “We should talk.” Clarke, says, sitting opposite her. 

“We do not have to,” Lexa tells her coldly. 

“No, we really should. I want to explain.” Clarke continues. 

“You don’t need to, it’s perfectly clear.” Lexa tells her. “I always wondered if there was something more to yours and Bellamy’s relationship, but now I know. You always insisted that you were only best friends.” Lexa finally looks up at her, and it reminds Clarke of the first time they met. If looks could kill. 

“He was! Or is, I’m not sure. It wasn’t like a thing. And it wasn’t like we were together, if I remember that was you,” Clarke reminds her. “It was just the one time thing, right after you told me about what happened on the victory tour. When I got home, we were drinking and it just happened, apparently, I don’t even remember it.” Clarke admits. She takes a deep breath before continuing, “and then the world ended, and I wasn’t able to talk to you about it. I didn’t find out I was pregnant for like two months after you went to space.” Clarke pauses again. “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Clarke adds sincerely. 

“I know I hurt you first.” Lexa relents. “After getting shot and having the flaim in and out, I think it changed me. Something in me was just different. When I was on tour, for a while it was like I felt nothing. I would look at these crowds of people and I thought they didn’t deserve it,” Lexa admits, looking away, ashamed.   
Clarke knows Lexa. She loves her people. Everything she’s ever done was to help them. She would give her life for them, if it meant saving them. Clarke never spent too much time on psych rounds with her mom, but she doesn’t need to to recognize what Lexa is saying as potentially PTSD. 

“Heda!” A little voice from behind Clarke shouts. “Oh and hi mommy.” Madi plops herself onto her mom’s lap. “Wow mommy you were right. Heda is beautiful.” Madi admires. Lexa smirks, while Clarkes blushes. “You’re the commander of the thirteen clans?” Madi inquires, even though she already knows the answer. Lexa nods, and opens her mouth to respond, but excited little Madi continues, “one day I’m going to be the commander, mommy told me,” Lexa raises an eyebrow at Clarke. 

“Are you planning to take me out and replace me with your kid?” Lexa jokes. 

“No, obviously not,” Clarke says with an eye roll and a smile. “Madi, little one, I said that you might be heda one day. But Lexa has to die first.” 

“What?” Madi asks, her bottom lip quivering. 

“No, no Madi that’s not what I meant, she, and you, and,” Clarke stutters trying to explain. 

“Anyway, Madi. Did your mom really say I was beautiful?” Lexa asks with a small smile. Madi nods. 

“Yeah, like all the time!” Madi tells her.

“Wow!” Lexa laughs. 

“Maybe, like once or twice.” Clarke corrects with a red face. 

“A day,” Madi interjects. Clarke pokes Madi’s side, tickling her. 

“Anyway,” Clarke collects herself. “How was it up there? Honestly?”

“It was a big change,” Lexa answers. “None of my knowledge or training prepared me for that. I even had to turn over leadership.” Clarke looks at her suspiciously. 

“Well, at least for a little while.” Clarkes laughs. 

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to hand over command that easily-not to mention you hate being told what to do. You have to be in charge all the time,” Clarke jokes. 

“Not all the time, remember?” Lexa asks. Clarke takes a deep breath. She remembers. 

“I don’t think I was supposed to hear that. I’m going to pretend that I didn’t,” Emori laughs, walking over to them. 

“Emowee?” Madi asks, looking at her mom. After yesterday and the reaction she received from her day and getting confused about who he is, she thinks she should ask first. 

“We’re still working on her ‘r’s’” Clarke tells both of them. 

“Yeah, I’m Emori. Did your mom tell you about me?” She inquires. Emori never felt like part of the group. She thought everyone only saw her as John’s girlfriend. Being in space did change her place in the group, and strengthened her friendships, but Clarke was from before. 

“Well, yeah,” Madi tells her. “She told me about all her friends.” She turns to Lexa. “She told me about you the most. She said you weren’t friends, more than a friend, I think, right mommy?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a little bit of a filler chapter, just getting from one scene to the next.
> 
> I hope you guys understand Murphy's joke, it's from a meme I saw a couple of years ago

It wasn’t long before everyone was awake. Madi was left with Harper and Monty.   
The rest of the group is in the rover on their way to the valley.

“Bellamy?” Raven’s voice says over the radio. “I got the signal up again. What’s going on down there? Over.” Clarke holds the steering wheel with one hand, and reaches for the radio with the other.

“Rae?” Clarke’s voice comes out croaky. It surprises her, she’s never been one to be overly emotional, but talking to one of her closest friends after all this time makes her emotional side creep out.

“Oh shit you're alive!” Raven says.

“And they call me cockroach.” Murphy laughs.

“Hey Murphy,” Clarke says with a laugh.

“Dude how did you survive all that time by yourself?” Raven asks.

“I wasn’t exactly alone,” Clarke responds. “I’ll explain more when I see you.”

“Don’t keep me guessing. Did you befriend a bear or something?” Raven guesses. Clarke pauses before responding. She wants to tell her everything. Gossip about the mistakes she made with Bellamy and how if very well could have cost her her relationship with Lexa. She wants to tell her all about how amazing Madi is. She wants to tell her how Madi loves science, and would love to study under Raven when she’s a bit older. She wants to tell her everything, but she can't.

“Not exactly, I-”

“Had a baby,” Echo interrupts.

“Yeah,” Clarke confirms. There’s a long pause.

“So I’m an aunt, cool.” Raven says, coming back on the radio. “I am going to need an explanation, next time I see you.”

“Are we aunts or uncles?” Murphy asks, receiving a groan from everyone.

“Are you asking if I had a boy or a girl?” Clarke asks for clarification. It was a stupid joke, she remembers, that they had on the ark. “She’s a girl, Madi.” Clarke answers.

“Cool, I’m an aunt too.” Murphy jokes. “Are we not going to ask about the baby daddy?” Bellamy snatches the radio from Clarke, reaching it to where he is sitting in the back seat. He fills them in on the prisoner situation, and the rubble prevents the people in the bunker from getting out. Even though it was business and a potential threat looming, Clarke begins to feel content. It’s been so long since she’s been around her friends. So long since she’s even spoken to another adult. She’s happy.

  
“We’ll split the valley down the middle,” Lexa negotiates.

“Threatening 253 people is not the best way to start an alliance.” Diyoza argues, turning to Bellamy.

“We don't want much, we just want peace.” Bellamy adds stepping forward.

“Yesterday you just wanted your wife?” Diyoza asks. “Girlfriend?” Diyoza smiles, knowing she’s starting trouble.

“None of that, but that’s not what we are discussing.” Clarke says. Diyoza looks amused at the whole situation. “Splitting the valley, do we agree?”

“Where’s the little one?” Diyoza asks, looking behind the group and into the rover. This raises many red flags for Clarke, and Bellamy and Lexa as well, it seems, as they step forward, looking like they want to fight. “Woah, woah, it was just a question.”

“We have something else to ask, to solidify peace between our people,” Lexa says, returning to being Heda. It makes Clarke smirk, no one can say no to Heda.

“Mommy!” Madi says at a run. “Woah what is that?” Madi asks, looking up at the prisoners mining tools. They tower over Madi’s little frame. She’s never seen tools like that, she has hardly seen much technology at all. It’s fascinating.

“Thanks,” Clarke says to Monty and Harper as they walk over to them. They trail behind Madi, slower than her excited sprint.

“No trouble,” Harper smiles. “She’s so sweet. We had fun, didn’t we Madi?” Harper asks looking at Madi. Madi, instead, watches the removal of the rocks. “Take my word for it.” She adds with a laugh.

“I believe you,” Clarke laughs. “No, but really thank you.”

“There she is.” Diyoza says, walking closer to them. Clarke pulls Madi closer to herself. “I heard you outsmarted some of my men.” Madi looks up at her mom, and then back to Diyoza with a little nod. “Good for you. Smart girl.”

“It wasn’t hard.” Madi brags.

“I’m sure it wasn’t,” Diyoza laughs. “How old are you?” Madi proudly holds up five fingers, she is still excited about being a full hand. Clarke continues to hold Madi close, but she honestly doesn’t think that Diyoza would do anything to her. She seems interested in Madi, and Clarke believes her intentions are good.

“Is everything alright?” Lexa asks, as her and Bellamy come over to them.

“Yeah, we’re all good here,” Clarke answers honestly. Diyoza looks from Clarke to Bellamy to Madi to Lexa.

“Can I just ask?”

“No,” the three answer in unison.


	11. Chapter 11

Bellamy is the first one into the bunker, followed closely by Clarke. She told Madi to stay with Lexa and Harper because it might not be safe inside. Really, she needs to give her friends a brief explanation, before they meet her little girl. Especially with her mom. God how was she going to explain this to her mom? Octavia stands in front of, war makeup covering most of her face, and reaches out to shake her hand.

“I have to tell you something, but first where’s my mom? And Marcus?” Clarkes asks in a hushed voice.

“I’ll tell her, Clarke, go find your mom.” Bellamy tells her.

“Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?” Octavia demands. Clarke looks up at a small noise behind the fence. She finally sees her mom. A small cry escapes from the back of her throat. With all the rubble covering the entrance to the bunker, she honestly believed she would never see her mom again. She walks over to her, her feet moving before her mind catches up, and feels like she is floating. She grabs the holes in the fence, and Abby sets her hands atop her own. Tears flowed down her mom's cheeks, and Clarke can feel her own threatening to fall. She finally understands everything her mom has ever done. She would do just about anything for Madi. A parent's love for their child, after all, is unmatched.

“I love you,” Clarke cries.

“I love you too,” Abby responds, holding back another sob.

“I have to tell you something,” Clarke whispers. Abby nods. She has a lot to fill her in on too. Clarke turns around as more people slide down the ropes.

“Who the hell are you?” Octavia asks.

“We’re here to rescue you.” Diyoza responds.

“We have an understanding, O,” Bellamy explains.

“I take it you’re his sister,” Diyoza assumes.

“Yes, sorry, Octavia, Colonel Diyoza.” Bellamy introduces.

“Oh well congrats!” Diyoza says with a small smirk.

“What the hell does that mean?” Octavia questions.

“Oh she doesn’t know, well shit, I’ll go.” Diyoza says, laughing and walks away.

“Is there somewhere we can talk?”

  
  


“Wait really?” Octavia asks in shock. Abby, however, is already hugging Clarke.

Octavia brought them to a small office where privacy could be guaranteed. 

“When can I meet her?” Abby asks, practically jumping up and down. Clarke has never seen her so excited; her mom is usually fairly calm, no matter the situation.

“She’s outside.” Clarke answers.

“So you two,” Octavia smirks.

“I didn’t even know you two were together.” Abby says, now hugging Bellamy as well.

“We’re not,” Clarke says, embarrassed. She never wanted to have this conversation with her mom. She has carefully avoided the topic with her mom since she was fifteen and had her first boyfriend. She’s an adult now, she can do this. “Or ever really.” Octavia laughs until Abby turns to her, and she pretends it was just a cough.

“I see,” she says all but glaring at Bellamy. Octavia keeps grinning, clearly amused with the awkwardness of the situation.

“Well do you want to meet her? She’s just outside with Lexa, she can bring her down.” Clarke says, trying to deflect.

“Lexa?” Octavia asks. “ I didn’t know you two were still-” Clarke cuts her off with a look and small shake of her head.

“Am I missing something?” Abby asks, looking back and forth between Octavia and Clarke.

The door opens, and Madi and Lexa arrive.

“Oh my gosh,” Abby says, dropping to her knees. “Hi honey,” Clarke looks up at Lexa, embarrassed. Her mother has never acted like this. “I’m your grandma, your mommy’s mommy.” Madi sneaks closer to her mom.

“It’s okay baby, go say hi to grandma.” Clarke tells her. Madi steps forward into Abby’s hug. She looks up at Octavia over her grandma’s shoulder. She sinks her face further into it.

“Hey kid,” Octavia says with a nod of her head.

“It’s okay little one, it’s just Auntie O. She’s wearing cool makeup, right?” Clarke encourages. “She’s never seen anyone with the…” Clarke gestures to her face.

“It’s just part of the style, kid. It’s me under here, Auntie O.” Octavia explains, with a look to Clarke making sure she got the name right. 

“You’re my daddy’s sister?” Madi asks in a quiet voice. Clarke isn’t used to Madi being so shy, she must be freaked out with Octavia’s war makeup.

“Still not used to you being a daddy, big brother.” Octavia laughs. “So weird.” Madi looks up at her, still waiting for an answer. “Yes, I’m your daddy’s sister.” Octavia confirmed.

“Cool,” Madi says, finally smiling up at her Auntie O. Octavia, as well, relents and drops her hardened persona, and gives Madi a genuine smile.

“She’s cute,” Octavia says to Clarke. She smiles and nods, she knows, Madi is very cute. “She looks like me.” Octavia says confidently.

“I think she looks like me,” Abby says.

“No I just see me,” Octavia challenges. Clarke notices an obvious change in Abby’s demeanor.

“Yes, Blodreina.” Abby relents.

“No, I didn’t mean, well whatever I win.” Octavia responds.

“Blod what? What did you say?” Clarke asks.

“The Red Queen,” Lexa translates for her. Lexa’s relaxed body language quickly changes to being on high alert.

“Are we going to talk about the fighting pits?” Bellamy asks, turning back into big brother mode. Clarke, clears her throat and gestures subtly to Madi. “Right the child.” Madi scrunches her face. She’s a big girl, already a full hand.

“We’ll just go then,” Abby says, taking Madi’s hand and walking out together.

“Wonkru,” Lexa repeats after Octavia finishes explaining the bunkers situation. In a way it was a similar concept to the coalition with the expectation of being that Lexa allowed the people to keep their kru’s and traditions. It was an important part of the coalition, the continuation of traditions and cultures. Even though Lexa is Heda, she is still trikru, completely. It’s her way of assuring her people that they have not been taken over by a dictator. “The fighting pit is not leadership, Octavia. It’s a fear tactic that breeds mistrust in you, Blodreina.” Lexa says almost taunting. “A very wise person once told me that life should be about more than just surviving, and that’s what this so-called wonkru is, survival.”

“I remember that you also used fear and killings, Heda,” Octavia provokes. “You tried to have me killed after the missiles in Ton D.C. You have wanted all of us dead at some point.”

“These are my people!” Lexa shouts.

“Not anymore.” Octavia challenges.

“Alright, alright that’s enough,” Clarke intervenes, stepping in between the two. “We have to be united, for our people, but also to show we’re strong against the Eligius prisoners.” Octavia and Lexa step away from each other, agreeing with Clarke.

  
The people will stand with me anyway, Lexa thinks. She’s Heda, afterall.


	12. Chapter 12

“Bellamy?” Raven laughs. Clarke finally found a moment to sneak away and fill Raven in all of the baby daddy drama. They were all waking to the valley again, but stopped momentarily at the halfway point for a break. 

Clarke groans. “Like I love my daughter, right? And I’m super proud of her and all that, but honestly? It’s pretty fucking embarrassing having everyone knowing that me and Bellamy slept together.” Raven roars with laughter. “No one was supposed to, like ever! It was a one time thing and heavily influenced by Monty and Jasper’s moonshine.” Raven laughs again. There’s a long pause. “Raven?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I was laughing,” Raven says as she returns to the radio. Clarke rolls her eyes. “Murphy! Murphy! He’s here, tell him.”

“Raven,” Clarke says, exasperated.

“So you know Clarke’s baby?” Raven asks Murphy.

“Well, she’s five,” Clarke corrects.

“Yeah, yeah, you know who the baby daddy is?” Raven continues. Clarke sits waiting, another person to know the most embarrassing event of her life.

“Bellamy,” Murphy answers.

“How the hell did you know?” Clarke yells.

“He told me,” Murphy answers, nonchalantly.

“I’m going to kill him,” Clarke mumbles.

“Well, he didn’t exactly tell me. Before Praimfaya, like what three weeks maybe, I saw you sneak out of his room. When I asked him about it, he tried to lie, but I knew, and he knew I knew so he just told me. So when Clarke shows up, after six years with a baby, sorry five year old, I just assumed.” Murphy explains.

“Still going to kill him.”

Just a few hours ago, things were going well. Things were almost perfect. That’s how Clarke should have known something was going to go terribly wrong. That’s how things usually go, from one extreme to the other. Clarke was playing with Madi, and proudly introducing to all her friends. Madi was being kind and polite. She pretended she knew people that Clarke knows for a fact they never talked about.

But then it all went to shit.

The prisoners found out that Wonkru smuggled weapons out of the bunker in violation of the deal Lexa made with them. Then her mom and Marcus were taken by (or defected to) Diyoza and her people. They lost the valley; Clarkes biggest fear and it came true. She lost her and Madi’s home. The last livable place on Earth, and it was stolen from them.

And then Octavia gets shot. Madi shrieks. It’s the only thing anything can hear over the ringing caused by the blast, is Madi’s shrieking. Clarke tries to stand up to get to her child, but her legs give out from underneath her. She was too close to the blast.

“Auntie O!” Madi screams again, running full speed to Octavia. Wonkru is already surrounding her, trying to control the bleeding and stabilize her injuries. Their red queen, apparently.

Madi is snatched before she can make it to Octavia. Lexa holds her close to her. “It’s okay,” Lexa says and squeezes her. Madi flails, still trying to run to her aunt. “She’s fine. She’s going to be fine. See they’re helping her. It’s going to be alright. Alright?” Clarke watches them. She can hear, see, and move but she doesn’t. She just watches. The scene is frozen in front of her. When she sees Bellamy running over to Madi, she wakes up and runs to her daughter. Madi is holding tightly to Lexa.

“Madi,” Bellamy says, stroking her back. “She’ll be fine.”

“Madi,” Clarke says as she reaches them.

“What the hell are you doing?” Bellamy yells. “Go help Octavia! Aren’t you supposed to be some genius doctor? Go doctor!”

“But, Madi,” Clarke argues.

“She’s fine, we got her.” Lexa tells her calmly. “You can go.”

Octavia is fine, relatively. She’s injured, yes, but she’s alive. Her people did a great job of stabilizing her, Clarke hardly has to do anything.

She stays with her overnight anyway, just in case; it’s hard to tell if there’s any internal injuries or bleeding. They stay in a tent set up by some Wonkru members and Clarke sleeps in a chair next to Octavia’s cot.

“Hey big brother,” Octavia says, groggily. Her voice wakes up Clarke. “Hey kid.”

“How are you feeling?” Bellamy asks leaning over, brushing back Octavia’s hair.

“Better. You good kid? I heard you screaming, impressive pipes you got.” Octavia laughs, grabbing her side and groaning in pain.

“Auntie O?” Madi asks, her concern growing again.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” Octavia reassures.

“Little one,” Clarke says in a quiet voice. Madi jumps on her mom's lap, smothering Clarke in kisses. “You’re okay?” Madi nods in confirmation.

“I just missed you today,” Madi tells her, sighing.

“Me too baby.” Clarke says kissing Madi on the top of her head.

“So,” Octavia says, trying to sit up, unsuccessfully. Bellamy is there, like always, to help Octavia. “How are we going to take the valley back?”

“O, you just got shot trying to take the valley.” Bellamy reminds her.

“You want to go home, right Madi?” Octavia asks. Madi quickly nods yes.

“Okay hold on. Don’t bring her into this,” Clarke intervenes. The last thing she wants is for Madi to be put in the middle. “Maybe we should get Lexa if we’re going to plan something political.”

“No,” Octavia responds, suddenly becoming Blodreina again. “Not Lexa. She’s not the commander anymore.” Bellamy and Clarke share a look. “Okay what? What’s with the looks? It’s been six years, things change, I’ve changed.”

“Yeah mommy, she’s changed.” Madi says with a pointed look.

“See,” Octavia agrees. “I like you kid.”

“I like you too, Skairipa.” Madi says mischievously.

“Skairipa, huh? I haven’t heard that name in a long time.” Octavia notes, looking beyond them in thought.

“She loves hearing all about you. Madi’s a big fan,” Clarke explains.

“What about me? You like my stories too?” Bellamy asks, kneeling down to get on Madi’s level.

“Ehh,” Madi answers honestly, shaking her hand back and forth making a sort of gesture.

“Ooh, I win big brother.” Octavia teases.

“You pain me, Madi,” Bellamy dramatically falls over, grabbing his heart. “I’m your dad.” The girls laugh at Bellamy’s antics. Madi kicks Bellamy while he’s down, literally with swift kick to his gut, but also with her words:

“Sorry daddy, Auntie O is my favorite.” Madi laughs, switching herself to be sitting next to Octavia on her cot.

“She’s sassy like you were, O,” Bellamy says.

“We’re a team!” Madi announces. “The sassy team!” Madi and Octavia laugh.

“I thought we were a team, Madi?” Clarke asks, grabbing her heart like Bellamy had done.

“Sorry mommy!” Madi apologizes, but sends a wink to her aunt. Madi, who is still learning to wink, blinks both her eyes.

“We’ll figure everything out,” Octavia says, kissing the top of Madi’s head. “I promise.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There has been a lot of (understandable) complaints about the lack of Lexa and Clexa in this fic. I'm trying to keep it as close to canon as I can, only with Lexa being alive. It's been a little bit tricky. Also I feel like Bellamy would like to spend as much time as he can with Madi, and so that's why he is around Clarke so often. Another complaint is that I'm writing Lexa as a villain in this story and that is not my intention. Lexa is one of my favorite characters on the show, but this fic is mostly from Clarke's POV where the anger for Lexa may be coming from. As the author, it makes since why both of the chose to sleep with other people at the time. If you have any concerns or questions please let me know. I want to make this fic enjoyable, so I appreciate feedback as long as it is nice. Hate comments are deleted.

“Hi,” Clarke greets as she enters Lexa’s tent. Lexa greets Clarke with a smile.

“Good evening Clarke.” Lexa says, and looks behind Clarke. “And Madi?”

“With Harper. Apparently she’s more fun than I am. At least recently.” Clarke answers in defeat. Lexa laughs.

“You’ve been busy. She’ll understand one day.” Lexa comforts.

“You’re right. I think she’s a little overwhelmed. She’s never been around this many people. She’s never faced anything like this or a threat of any kind. I’m worried about her.” Clarke admits.

“It is because you’re a mom now.” Lexa says with a comforting smile. She may not know what it is like to be a mother, but she does know what's like to have people's lives and safety be your highest priority. She doesn't know exactly how Clarke is feeling, but she can empathize.

“Yeah.” Clarke sighs. “It actually makes me feel bad for my mom. All the things I put her through,” she says with a laugh.

“I just need to ask you something,” Lexa says, getting serious. “I have been trying to stop myself this whole time since I have returned to the ground, from asking you this, you know, with everything going on. But I have to. Emori told me something on the Ring, about something you said.”

“Oh,” Clarke says in surprise. She remembers. She’s been thinking about it everyday for six years. “Sorry about the,” Clarke gestures giving a shot. “I knew you weren’t going to survive, and I needed you too.”

“That’s fine Klark,” Lexa tells her honestly. “I was mad for awhile, but I was mostly sad. I thought you had died.”

“But I didn’t,” Clarke says, attempting a joke.

“No, you didn’t.” Lexa says, still serious, but now has a small smile. “This is not what I am wishing to discuss.” She steps closer to Clarke. “Emori told me that you told her that you loved me.”

“Oh,” is the only thing Clarke can say. Her deflecting has failed.

“Oh,” Lexa says, collecting herself. “I assumed as much. They were trying to make me feel better. Please forget I said anything.” Lexa feels her face warm, and turns herself around, busying herself with folding blankets.

“Wait, Lex,” Clarke steps forward, turning Lexa back around. “I did tell Emori to tell you that.” Lexa drops the blanket.

“Oh.”

“It’s been six years, Lexa.” Clarke reminds her. “I’ve changed. I’m sure you have too.” Lexa prepares herself for another rejection from Clarke. “I think we need to learn each other again. Get to know Madi, and we’ll see how things go.”

“Sounds very mature, Clarke.” Lexa complements, very impressed. “Things really have changed.” She jokes.

“But I don’t want to be mature right now. Ever since I saw you, I wanted to,” Clarke interrupts herself by kissing Lexa. Lexa, shocked at first, slowly reciprocates.

Lexa pulls back, “what happened to getting to know each other again?” Lexa asks. She doesn’t want Clarke to feel pushed to do anything she's not ready for.

“Well, I know that I want to kiss you,” Clarke says, giving Lexa another peck. “And I know you do too.” It is true, Lexa had missed Clarke, and kissing Clarke, and doing other things with Clarke. When she met Madi and connected the whole Bellamy and Clarke dots, her anger made her other desires subside. When she found out the truth and heard the whole story, it relit the fire- almost like no time had passed at all. But there’s the Madi of it all. What would that mean for them?

They don’t progress much further than just kissing before Harper enters the tent. Clarke and Lexa jump apart from each other, and collect themselves.

“I’m sorry,” she says, blushing.

“It’s fine,” Clarke responds. Not fine, Lexa wants to correct, but she keeps her composure.

“Is it okay if Madi sleeps in my tent? You seem busy in here and she’s tired.” Harper asks. “Everyone else is away scouting the woods, so it will be quiet for her.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. She likes you better than me these days anyway,” Clarke jokes. This is the second time she’s made the same joke, and Lexa wonders if there is more to it. “Let me go say goodnight.” The three of them leave the tent, but are quickly stopped.

“Heda,” a wonkru man says, visibly relieved at the sight of Lexa.

“Stop. She is not Heda anymore.” Octavia commands coming up behind the man.

“Yes, Blodreina,” the man says, and steps back from Lexa.

“Are we doing this now?” Lexa challenges.

“You’re not Heda anymore.” Octavia repeats, taunting Lexa into a fight. Lexa pulls the little gold gear-shaped trigeda symbol out of her pocket and presses it onto her forehead. It feels foreign, she hasn’t worn it in over six years- she hasn’t had a reason to. A peace rushes through her whole body. The commanders in her head are supportive. They’ve been yelling at her for days, but Lexa knew it was not the right time to reclaim her title.

“Yes, I am.”

“Heda!” People call.

“She’s becoming Heda again.” Around half of the remaining Wonkru kneel to Lexa. They’ve been waiting six years for her return, and several more days as she had seemed to be willing to hand over leadership to Octavia.

“You are Wonkru or you are an enemy of Wonkru!” Octavia shouts at the defectors. Those who remain loyal to Octavia pull out their weapons.

Someone screaming from a distance distracts the feuding groups.

“It’s the scouts!”

“Miller,” Octavia responds first. “What happened?”

“Medic! We need help! It’s Obika.” Miller answers, running quickly.

“I’ll get a med kit,” Clarke says at a run.

“Please help us,” Miller begs. “He needs help!”

“Are we under attack?” Octavia asks, inspecting the plains around them.

“I don’t know what’s wrong!” Miller cries out. Miller holds Obika over his shoulder, to be set on the ground gently. “Please help us! Hurry someone help him!” Obika writhes in pain.

“Out of my way! I can help him!” Clarke yells, running back to the scene.

“Not you,” she is stopped by Octavia’s right hand. Obika continues to scream in pain.

“Octavia!” Clarke argues.

“Let her in.” Octavia demands.

“She’s with the commander,” Cooper argues.

“Are you disobeying?” Octavia responds coolily, though Clarke can see the fire in her eyes. Cooper obliges and allows Clarke through. “She is the commander of nothing,” Octavia reminds her people.

“He’s alive, but his heart is racing,” Clarke tells them.

“What the hell happened out there?” Octavia demands to know.

“We separated to cover more ground,” Miller explains. “Then I hear him screaming out that their everywhere. Then I get to him and there’s nothing. It’s just more screaming.” A large bump appears on Obika’s abdomen and it moves. Octavia and others watching, jump back. Even Clarke gets spooked, falling onto her butt from where she had previously been on her knees.

Clarke takes a closer look. “There’s something inside him.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Hurry get him in the tent” Miller yells. “Get him in the tent.”

“Move,” Bellamy demands.

“Nobody else comes inside,” Clarke requests. The tent is already too full with herself, her patient Obika, Miller, Octavia, Bellamy, Cooper, Indra, and Lexa. The tent is full of rising tension between Lexa and Octavia, but Clarke does her best to not let it distract her. “Help me get his jacket off.”

“Clarke what is this?” Indra asks.

“I don’t know,” Clarke answers with rising frustration. “Miller, you need to tell me exactly what happened.”

“Nothing happened.” Miller says. “We stopped to eat, and then we separated again and the next thing I knew he was screaming.”

“Your rations, show me.” Clarke commands.

“Nothing is wrong with our rations,” Cooper informs her.

“He was eating when it happened,” Clarke points out.

“Cooper’s right, if it was the rations, Miller would have it to.” Octavia responds. “We share everything.”

“Well it got in him somehow.” Clarke argues.

“Wait,” Bellamy speaks up. He moves his bloody hand off Obika’s leg, revealing a small round wound. “Look.”

“It came from the sand.” Clarke quickly realizes. She knew that sand. It could cut like glass. “We have to go back.”

“No,” Octavia responds.

“Octavia, he told Miller that they were everywhere.” Clarke argues.

“Yes, but everywhere could mean everywhere inside him,” Octavia points out.

“I agree with Clarke, we need to return to the bunker.” Lexa includes her input.

“Of course you agree with Clarke,” Octavia rolls her eyes. “Or is it just that you don’t agree with me?”

“We really don’t have time for this,” Clarke reminds them.

“I understand, stabilize him and we go.” Lexa orders. Clarke nods.

“No, we listen to Blodreina,” Cooper speaks up.

“We need to continue forward,” Octavia insists.

“Into the sand? Octavia, I know this sand. It will shred us all.” Clarke reasons. “And anyway, I’m not sending my five year old out there.” Clarke shakes her head. “We’re wasting time. Everyone out. I need to get whatever is in him out, and I can’t risk it infecting anyone else.” Indra and Cooper leave, after receiving a nod from Octavia, but the rest stay.

“Clarke,” Octavia starts.

“What, O? You really want to bring Madi through that?” Clarke asks, pointing to the sand storm. “I know you want to pretend you don’t care about anyone or anything, but I see how you look at her. It’s how Bellamy looks at you. You wouldn’t put her at risk.” Octavia’s eyes shift between the hard, uncaring Blodreina, and Octavia, the girl who would do anything for her family.

“We return in the morning.” Octavia declares, walking out with Bellamy and Miller on her heels.

“That was hot,” Lexa smirks.

“Lexa!” Clarke says in surprise.

“It’s something they taught me on the Ring.” She explains with a shrug. Clarke rolls her eyes, and continues her work.

“We can’t do this right now, I’m working," Clarke says, smirking. “Don’t your people need you?” She reminds her.

“Yes, but I like watching you work.” Lexa sighs, “I should go, Octavia is probably plotting against me as we speak.” Lexa agrees. As she walks out of the tent, Clarke speaks up.

“Can you check on Madi? In between fighting with Octavia, of course.” Lexa gives her a sharp nod.

An hour later, Obika is ready to be transported. Clarke was able to remove the entire parasite, with minimal complications. She is secretly impressed with herself, it has been a while since she’s performed any type of surgery. The closest she came to in the past six years was removing splinters from Madi’s hands and feet, but she wouldn’t call that practice. Her skills are rusty, but she still managed to pull it off.

The entire group has left their campsite and marches home. Clarke was busy setting Obika up on planks of wood and helping his transporters, that she didn’t catch up with Madi until they were already a couple of miles into their journey. She searches the group to try to find Harper and Madi.

“Excuse me,” Clarke says, pushing people out of the way. Finally she sees Harper carrying little Madi, who is passed out on her shoulder. Clarke makes a beeline over to them. “Hey, Harper.” Harper looks at her the best she can with Madi’s head in the way.

“Hey Clarke,” She responds with a small smile. She’s tired, Clarke observes. Madi can do that easily, tiring people out. Clarke is always reminding her that not everyone has the energy of a five year old, which makes Madi laugh and get more hyper.

“Do you want me to take Madi?” Clarke asks, already reaching out. Madi’s little, skinny and petite, but she is getting heavier everyday. Harper’s arms must be ready to give out, carrying her for an hour.

“Please,” Harper laughs. Clarke reaches in and grabs Madi by her armpits and brings her close to her chest. Madi stirs a little bit, but turns her head and goes back to sleep.

“Thank you so much for everything you’ve been doing. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.” Clarke sincerely tells her.

“It’s really no problem, Clarke. I love Madi, she’s so sweet. She started calling me Auntie Harper.” Harper responds. Clarke smiles. Clarke’s friends quickly became family, so it makes sense that Harper would be Madi’s aunt. Clarke has only ever called Octavia Madi’s aunt, explaining that since Octavia and her dad are siblings, O is her aunt. Clarke finds it so sweet that Madi loves her friends so much that she also considers them family.

“She’s a sweet girl,” Clarke says, beaming. She is so proud of how Madi has handled all of these big changes. She has stayed her sweet, funny, smart self. “It feels so weird to leave her with anyone. I obviously love and trust you one hundred percent with her, but we have spent 24/7 together for the past five and half years, and I don’t know it’s just weird.” Clarke admits.

“That makes sense.” Harper validates. “You know it’s not just me that is willing to help? I mean obviously Bellamy, and even Monty loves being around Madi. I never thought that he was really the kid type, but I guess we just haven’t really talked about it.” Clarke grins into Madi’s shoulder. She would love for Madi to be around other kids, especially cousin-type kids. Clarke secretly hopes maybe they’ll have a baby next. “Even Lexa has a sweet spot for Madi. What’s going on with you two anyway?” Clarke sighs. What is going on with them?

“I don’t know.” Clarke confesses. “I don’t even know if there is anything that can happen, you know with everything going on with the prisoners and the valley. And then there’s Octavia. They’re going to kill each other.” Clarke sighs again. “I don’t know.”

“Well, yeah that is all understandable, but didn’t your relationship start while our peoples were fighting? There was the Azgeda threat, back when they were calling you Wanheda.” Harper reminds her. “There will always be some war or threat happening, I mean it seems like there’s always something with us. It doesn't mean you have to stop living.” Clarke listens carefully. She’s right, of course.

“But at that time we didn’t have this one,” Clarke says, resting her head on Madi’s. “I just don’t want to do anything to hurt her.”

“What are you talking about?” Harper laughs. “She loves Lexa. She kept asking me to tell her Heda stories. I think Madi would be thrilled with Lexa as like, what her step mom?” Harper laughs again. Clarke blushes at the thought. It’s not like she hasn’t imagined what their life might be like with Lexa.

“I guess we’ll just have to see,” Clarke responds, neutrally. Maybe she should be having this conversation with Lexa. “We’ll have to see if she and Octavia haven’t killed each other before morning, and then maybe we’ll have to talk.” It’s the best she can give for now. She doesn’t even know if Lexa wants something serious. She’s the commander, she could have anyone, Clarke thinks, she shouldn’t have to settle.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me...

They returned to the bunker an hour later. Clarke and Madi are given the room that used to be Abby and Marcus’. The room is fairly bare, a bed sits in the middle of the room against one wall. There is a small dresser on the far wall with a small lamp resting on top. Abby and Marcus’ clothes are still inside, which freaks Clarke out a little, thinking that they left so quickly when they defected to the prisoners and that it was so important for them to get out that they didn’t even get they’re things.

Madi sleeps on the left side of the bed, like always. Clarke lies in bed for a while staring at the ceiling. She listens to Madi’s light snoring for what seems like hours, until she realizes sleep is not coming. She sits up slowly, trying her best not to squeak the bed. Her feet touch the floor lightly. When she stands up, the bed squeaks loudly. Clarke turns to Madi, cringing. Madi continues snoring and Clarke breathes a sigh of relief. She walks out of their little room and down the hallway quietly. She counts the rooms, as she had done earlier, and stops at the eleventh door. Clarke opens the door, slowly and carefully. She steps in and closes it behind her. In the dark, she can see an outline of a person sit up in bed.

“Hello?”

“Hi Lex, it’s just me.” Clarke says.

“Klark, is everything okay?” Lexa says, turning on the light on the dresser next to her bed. Octavia, with urging from Bellamy and Clarke (and puppy eyes from Madi), is allowing Lexa to stay for the night with peace terms negotiated until the next morning.

“Yes, everything’s fine. I just wanted to see you.” Clarke admits, sitting on her bed.

“Where’s Madi?” Lexa asks. She breaks eye contact. “With Bellamy.”

“No,” Clarke corrects, almost annoyed. “She’s sleeping, she’s just down the hall, she’ll be fine for a minute.” Lexa nods.

“Are you okay Clarke?” Lexa asks again. Clarke takes a moment before responding.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just wanted to talk to you about something. I was talking to Harper and then I thought I should talk to you personally.” Lexa gives her an encouraging nod. “It’s about Octavia,” she says, chickening out.

“You have come to me in the middle of the night to ask me about my political plans?” Lexa asks for clarification. Clarke nods dumbly. “Well, I do not want to start anything that might end with casualties. Our numbers are already so few, I do not want to lower them any further. Though, Octavia has done such a poor job as the leader of my people, look at how many she has lost already! All of those she sentenced to death.” Lexa shakes her head. “To be honest with you, I have been awake thinking about all of this. I am glad that you and I are on the same page.” A relieved smile fills Lexa’s cheeks. Again, Clarke can only nod and smile, because she was not, in fact, unable to sleep because of a potential civil war between her people, but because was too busy thinking of Lexa’s pretty eyes, and her smile and where they stand. “I am going to have to work together with Octavia, pardon me, Blodreina, to decide on a peaceful solution. From the way she reacted so aggressively, I don’t know how she will respond to my negotiating for peace. I am the commander, I am the leader of these people, not someone who named herself queen.” Lexa says bitterly. 

Clarke agrees, Lexa is the commander, she is the one with the flaim, and in accordance with their faith, she’s the one who should lead their people. Clarke also knows that Octavia has been their leader for over six years, and the transfer of power didn’t just happen overnight. The people praise Octavia for getting them out of the bunker and feel gratitude to her because of it. Clarke knows that it was Lexa’s negotiating skills that allowed that in the first place, but Octavia did keep her promise, after all, and freed them from the bunker. Now they believe she will also lead them to the valley. Clarke knows that people’s hopes and beliefs are often more important to them than anything else.

“I know you’ll figure something out.” Clarke responds. “You know I support you.” Lexa leans back against the wall.

“Octavia’s your family now,” Lexa responds angrily. “Your sister-in-law, or whatever.”

“What are you talking about? She’s not my sister-in-law, Bellamy and I are not married.” Clarke corrects.

“Right,” Lexa says sarcastically.

“The hell are you talking about?” Clarke asks, standing up.

“Forget I said anything,” Lexa says, shaking her head. Lexa prides herself in not letting her feelings get in the way politics or her responsibilities. Somehow, Clarke is able to break into her hard outer shell and Lexa forgets all her training and all her teachings, and all she can think about it Clarke. Either how much she cares for her, or how much she angers her.

“I’m not going to just forget it,” Clarke says, careful not to raise her voice. “You’re mad.” She suddenly realizes. “You’re mad about what happened with Bellamy.”

“Yes,” Lexa snaps. “I’m mad. I’ve been mad. I tried to pretend that I wasn’t, but I am. It upsets me.” Clarke stares at her blankly for a moment. Her raising anger tells her that Lexa has no reason to be mad at her. Lexa cheated on her, they broke up, and Clarke was with someone else. Her sympathetic side reminds her that Lexa was not Lexa when it happened. She was struggling with what seems like a depressive state resulting from trauma. Clarke didn’t know that at the time though, her anger reminds her. Clarke was drunk, it wasn’t a cognitive choice, though a choice was made. Lexa takes a deep breath. “This has nothing to do with Madi, I just want to clarify. I love her, she’s so sweet and wonderful.” Lexa says. “And nothing like her father,” she adds under her breath. Clarke gives her a look. “No, Bellamy’s fine, I did not mean that. He’s not the issue.”

“I am,” Clarke says, connecting the dots. Lexa looks up, frustrated. “We were broken up, I was hurt from what you did first.” Clarke argues. “How can you be mad?”

“I don’t know,” Lexa says, raising her voice. She sighs, lowers her voice and says again, “I don’t know. I am mad, and I do not know why.”

“Well, I lied,” Clarke says, her voice also raised. Lexa looks at her in surprise. Clarke, feeling defensive, throws another element into the fight, “I didn’t come here to talk about Octavia, I came here to tell you that I love you and I wanted to know if you loved me too.” Clarke wants to swallow the words back as soon as she says them. She wants to apologize and run out of the room and find comfort under her covers like a child. She wants to be anywhere but in that room. It was a stupid thing to say.

“Of course I love you Clarke,” Lexa says, standing up and grabbing Clarke’s hands. “Of course I do. I love you and I trusted you. That’s why I’m mad,” Lexa realizes. “I trusted you and loved you, and you still slept with someone else.” She drops Clarke’s hands, and looks at Clarke. For the first time in a long time, Lexa feels tears sting her eyes. For the first time in a long time, Lexa doesn’t mind, and let’s the tears fall.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke apologizes, also crying.

“I know,” Lexa responds. “I know,” and because she’s Lexa, she rests her hand on Clarke’s cheek, wiping away her tears lightly with her thumb. Clarke lets out a choked laugh, of course Lexa is taking care of her even when she is so hurt. Clarke holds Lexa’s hand with both of hers. “You were right, with what you said in the tent. We need to take things slowly. Maybe it is the shock of everything, learning all of this and you being around Bellamy so often, I think the anger was flamed, but will subside soon.” Clarke recognizes Lexa’s avoidance, she pushes all of her feelings to the side because she believes it hinders her. “I love you, you know I have been loving you for a long time, even when I thought you had died, I kept loving you,” she admits. “I just need time, Klark.”


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning Clarke didn’t want to wake up. Madi is already up and dancing around their room. Clarke turns around to face the wall. Her stomach is sore. She really wants to stay in bed all day.

“Mommy,” Madi says, walking over to her mom. “Please can it be wake up time now?” She asks, shaking Clarke.

“I’m asleep, Madi.” Clarke responds, annoyed.

“No, you’re not, you can’t talk in your sleep.” Madi explains, laughing, and hops back on to the bed.

“Maybe I’m sleep talking,” Clarke argues, opening one eye. Madi laughs.

“You’re not!” Madi jumps on the bed, and flops on top of her.

Clarke groans, “Madi. That hurts mommy.” She finally sits up. Madi cheers and pushes Clarke’s hair out of her face.

“Why are you big here?” Madi asks, pointing to under Clarke’s eyes. “And your cheeks are red. Is something wrong mama?” She snuggles into her mom’s lap.

“I’m fine, little one. It’s just because I didn’t sleep well.” Clarke lies. Well, not completely. After she came back from Lexa’s room, she was up for another two hours. She let tears fall on her pillow and cried quietly, trying her best to not wake up Madi. “Mama’s, fine baby.” Madi looks up at her mom with suspicion, her eyes had never been big like that, or had they been red. She gets an idea, a way to cheer up her mom.

“Mama, let’s go see Lexa!” Madi says with a big smile. Before, when her daddy and her mommy’s friends were still in space, and it was just her and her mom, her mom loved to tell her stories of Heda. Now that she’s on the ground, she sees the big smile her mom gets when she’s around Lexa. Madi is surprised to see her mom’s face drop, her growing smile turning to a frown.

“Not today Madi, maybe tomorrow.” Clarke says with a sigh. How can she explain the complexities of her and Lexa’s relationship, or lack thereof, to a five year old who doesn’t even know what a relationship is? “Let’s go see what Harper and Monty are doing, yeah?” Madi knows something is wrong, she might be five but she’s not dumb (though she’d never that, Madi never says bad words, she's a good girl). She can see her mom’s eyes light up at the idea of going to see Auntie Harper, so Madi plasters on a smile and nods.

“I’m sorry Clarke,” Harper tells her after Clarke explained what happened last night with Lexa. They are in the cafeteria in the bunker. Someone had gone hunting, the smell of the meat cooking seeps through from the kitchen. It’s been a couple days since Clarke, or Madi, had a proper meal. Clarke’s stomach rumbles at the smell.

Clarke shrugs, “it’s understandable.”

“It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” Harper points out. It’s true, Clarke knows, that emotions are not always connected with logic. “What did you tell Madi?” Madi, hearing her name, abruptly stops her conversation with Monty.

“Tell me what?” Madi asks, literally sticking her nose into the conversation, pushing her head over the table between her mommy and auntie Harper.

“Nothing little one, keep talking to Monty.” Clarke says. She can hear the tiredness in her own voice. Madi turns back to Monty, even though she really wants to keep listening. Her mom didn’t use to exclude her from things. Now that everyone is here, she’s treated like a little kid.

“The forest is filled with fairies!” Madi explains animatedly. “I haven’t seen any, though.”

Clarke shakes her head and turns back to Harper. The fairies is something Clarke made up a while ago. It was when Madi was in her terrible twos and she was having tantrums all the time. She told Madi that the fairies brought good little girls presents. It was mostly sweet berries, or a teddy bear that she found in one of the other houses, just something small. Not her best parenting move, but it worked.

“I’m just going to try to give her space, and see how it goes.” Clarke says with a shrug.

“I got to know Lexa pretty well while on the Ring. She didn’t get mad often, but when she did, we learned that it was better to give her space.” Harper gives her insight. “I think you're doing the right thing.” She gives Clarke a sympathetic smile. “Where is she anyway?” Harper asks, looking around.

“Probably meeting with Octavia. She said she wanted to negotiate peace.” Clarke remembers. “O’s not going to like it. Lexa’s peace includes her being commander,” Clarke says quietly, not wanting Blodreina loyalists to overhear.

“What’s going to happen if Octavia disagrees? Which she probably will,” Harper asks.

“Both ‘Blodreina’ and Lexa are known for violently taking what they want. They both think they’re right, and they both are. I really don’t know what’s going to happen.” Clarke says pessimistically.

“Mommy?” Madi asks, leaning onto Clarke.

“Yes, little one,” Clarke responds, stroking back Madi’s hair.

“Can we go home now?” Madi asks innocently. Clarke looks at Harper, hoping that together they can come up with the perfect response. Harper, instead, looks above Clarke with wide eyes.

“Yeah, kid, we can go home.” Octavia says, from behind them. Clarke and Madi whip around to look at Octavia.

“Auntie O!” Madi exclaims. She stands up and hugs around her hips. Octavia taps Madi’s back awkwardly.

“We’re going back to the valley now.” Octavia commands. She’s frustrated, Clarke observes. Lexa, she realizes with a smirk. No one can say no to Heda. “Without weapons this time,” Octavia adds, begrudgingly.

“Yay, we’re going home!” Madi says, clapping her hands. Clarke grabs her hand and sits her back down. Madi’s confused, doesn’t her mom want to go home?

Octavia, stiffly, grabs Madi’s other hand, standing her back up. Madi snuggles into Octavia’s side. “Lexa and I have discussed the matter, and we’ve agreed a small number of us return without weapons to negotiate splitting the valley.”

“Do you need me, or can I stay here with Madi?” Clarke asks, watching Octavia and Madi closely.

“We need you. Lexa said your presence is necessary.” Octavia responds. Clarke turns to Harper. Harper gives her a smile, this is a good sign. “In case we need a medic, you know, if things go south while we’re over there.” Clarke’s face drops, of course, not Clarke herself, only her skills. Clarke regroups, and pastes on a neutral face.

“Harper, can you please keep Madi for me?”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating recently. I am thinking about switching to updating bi-weekly instead of daily.

Once again, they march to the valley. A small number this time, as Octavia and Lexa agreed. Just the feuding leaders, Clarke, Indra, Cooper, and Bellamy. Octavia marches ahead, Cooper and Bellamy at either one of her sides. Lexa and Clarke hang back, though not necessarily together. Indra is in between, her uncertainty of her loyalty evident, though she claims it’s for the safety of the group. They walk in relative silence, Bellamy and Octavia talk quietly. 

“Lex,” Clarke finally says, breaking the silence. Lexa turns her head, no emotion shown on her face, making Clarke unsteady. “What happened with Octavia?” She asks quietly. Lexa takes a step closer to Clarke. 

“It was fine,” she whispers. “We might see things differently, but we have the same goal: to keep our people safe.” Clarke nods at her words, that has also been her goal since she crash landed on Earth all those years ago. “It makes negotiations easier when you want the same thing. We have an understanding.” She says, aloof. Clarke nods for her to continue. “Our people are split between the two of us, which means they will no longer listen to the other. We need to give the appearance of unity, even if we are not. We are going to try to work together until after we figure out what will happen with the valley and the Eligius prisoners. Afterwards, I am not certain what will happen.”

“That’s good.” Clarke says with a sigh. “I was worried that if you two couldn’t figure it out that Madi, or I, might be at risk, with our nightblood and all.” Right, Lexa thinks, the nightblood is why she’s asking, not for Lexa herself or even Heda. Lexa hates herself for thinking it as soon as she does. Of course Clarke is concerned. Not only is she a nightblood herself, but her daughter is as well. “I’m glad that you’re safe,” Clarke says honestly. 

Lexa’s face softens. “Mochof, Klark.” 

A few miles later they hear an urgent voice over their radio. “Blodreina!” Miller says quickly. “We have just gotten word that there is an eye in the sky ready to blast you with a missile.” Lexa and Clarke run to meet up with Octavia, who pauses her march. 

“How the hell do we hide from an eye in the sky?” Octavia demands. In front, behind and to either side of them is sand. They can no longer see the rubbles of Polis anymore, the road ahead is baron. Clarke thinks of those early days following Praimfaya, when she still didn’t know she was pregnant and almost gave up on everything. It makes her think, though. She knows this area, her Madi did the drive several times. 

“A cave.” Clarke announces. “Not too far from here. On the other end of that hill,” she says pointing to the little hill in front of them. On the other side, though they can’t tell from their position, is a steep drop. There, the valley begins to be visible. Octavia starts running, Cooper and Indra close behind her. Bellamy, Lexa, and Clarke are quickly behind them.

The bundle themselves inside the cave, a fire already being made. 

“Miller? Are you still there? Over.” Octavia asks over the radio.

“Yeah, I’m here with Monty and Harper. Over.” He replies. Clarke’s head shoots up at that. 

“Where’s Madi? She’s supposed to be with Harper.” Clarke begins to panic. She doesn’t trust many people in the bunker, especially under the Blodreina regime. 

“Madi?” Octavia asks. She grips the radio tighter as she asks. 

“She’s with Gaia. Over.” Harper says. Octavia looks at Clarke, silently asking if she is satisfied with that answer. Clarke lets out a breath, and Octavia nods. 

“We’re safe, we found a place to hide it out. Keep everyone inside the bunker, just in case. Over.” Octavia commands. She continues her conversation with the bunker, but Clarke isn’t listening. She leans against the back against the rock wall of the cave with rising panic. Gaia is still a flaimkepa, Clarke knows, and is still loyal to her faith. As far as Clarke’s aware, Lexa and Madi are the last two natural natblida’s. Before Praimfaya, young natblida’s were sent to the capital to start their training as soon as their blood was discovered. Clarke wonders if with the fighting between Octavia and Lexa, is Gaia trying to train the next commander? She knows all that comes with being commander, she’s seen it through, and heard about it from Lexa. Throughout her time as Heda, Lexa’s life was in danger multiple times, and continues to be a threat to Blodreina. Clarke will not let that happen to Madi. Clarke begins to feel nauseous as she wonders whether Gaia will be a protector of Madi, or the one to put her life in direct harm by putting a target on her back?

Clarke blinks back to reality as she feels someone sit next her. Lexa sits close to Clarke, their shoulders pressing against each other. “Are you alright Clarke?” Lexa asks quietly. Clarke can see Indra out of the corner of eye, watching her. She smiles and nods. 

She turns her head so that her lips are unreadable. “I’m just worried about Madi.” Lexa nods. 

“I, as well.” Lexa admits. “I can almost see her fate being written, the way mine was.” She watches Clarke clench her jaw. “I won’t let that happen.” She promises. 

Clarke smiles at her. Lexa smiles back. She watches Clarke’s eye’s light at the sight of her smile, she feels fluttering in her stomach. Against her will, Lexa’s eyes flick down to Clarke’s lips. They’re not as enticing as they usually are, they’re beginning to get chapped, and they tremble from Clarke’s increasing stress. Though, there’s still something about them that holds Lexa’s attention. Something about them being Clarke’s, Lexa reminds herself. She shakes herself out of her hypnotizing effect that Clarke has on her. 

“I won’t let another child go through that.” Lexa adds. Clarke nods. 

“Thank you,” Clarke says sincerely. She grabs Lexa’s hand, giving it a quick squeeze before she reminds herself that she shouldn’t. This isn’t giving her space. This is dragging her back into her family drama that Lexa made clear that she needed space from. 

Before she is able to apologize, a deafening blast explodes out in the desert. 

Octavia is the first one to get to her feet. “Is everyone okay?” Clarke looks around and is surprised to see not only no damage, but very little sand that was brought in. She checks her own body to be sure she’s fine. She looks down and comfort envelops her. Not only is Lexa holding her hand, but she has reached across Clarke’s body and holds Clarke’s right hand with her own. 

“Sorry,” Lexa apologizes quickly, removing her arm from around Clarke. Clarke shakes her head and pretends she isn’t instantly missing the feeling. 

“Is everyone okay?” Clarke repeats Octavia’s question, and hops to her feet. 

“We are all fine,” Indra speaks up. Clarke looks around anyway. Bellamy stands slowly, the deafening effect of the blast disorienting him. Cooper stands beside Octavia, looking her up and down making sure she didn’t suffer any injuries. 

They all make their way out of the cave carefully, none of them knowing exactly what they’ll find. The missile hit their abandoned campgrounds from last night. They left in a hurry with the promise of return in the morning, leaving their tents up. 

Their campsite, however, was over twenty miles away. The dust and smoke is only barely visible from their far distance. The prisoners have superior technology; Clarke wonders if they would even have a chance against them if it comes down to war. Clarke remembers the mountain, and the fear the grounders felt for almost a century. She turns to Lexa, whose face has dropped, then to Octavia. No fear can be seen on her face, only anger. Clarke feels her stomach flip, in her realization. They’re going to war.


	18. Chapter 18

_When Madi turned two she became incredibly independent. To Clarke, it felt like an overnight change. One minute Madi was her baby and needed Clarke for everything and the next she could and wanted to do everything herself. She scared Clarke a few times when she ran too close to the lake and refused to listen as her mom yelled at her to come back._

_Soon Clarke realized she spent too much time worrying. Growing up on the Ark, Clarke obviously didn't learn to swim. Once she got to the ground, she was always too busy to even think about learning. She knew she needed to teach Madi to swim in order to ensure her safety around the water. For a week, Clarke would bring the rover down to the lake and put Madi to bed inside after dinner. She would then enter the water, a little deeper each night, and practice what she’s seen in old movies. She started out by just kicking, and then included her arms. By the fifth night, she was swimming very well. By the seventh, she convinced herself that she could be a professional swimmer, and laughed to herself that she won every race because she swam alone._

_The next week, Clarke started teaching Madi the basics. Mostly how to survive if she accidentally fell in the lake (or knowing Madi, belly flopped in the deep end). Madi struggled at first, but after a while she got it._

_After that Clarke and Madi’s favorite activity was swimming. In the summer, they could spend all day in the lake._

Clarke abruptly realizes that they’ll never have that again. They will never have the peace from the mundane, painstakingly similar days they once did. Madi will grow up in a world defined by war like she did. The numbers of human beings already painfully small, another war will be almost as catastrophic as the one that sent her ancestors to space. The future that Clarke envisioned is starting to look very bleak. Clarke just wants to crawl into bed with Madi and hold her tight.

Octavia, on the other hand, wants to call a war council meeting. Unfortunately, with the truce she made with the former commander she will have to listen to Lexa’s perspective. They have almost equal power, at least for now. Octavia wants nothing more to slit Lexa’s throat as she sleeps, but she knows that will not be good for the reunification of her people. More would defect. And there’s Madi to think about. From what Octavia has heard, the two are growing quite close. Octavia desires for a close relationship with her little niece, but every time she looks in Madi’s eyes she sees the reflection of someone much better than she. Madi loves a version of Octavia that doesn’t exist anymore, one that hasn’t existed for years, if she did at all. She sees the same look in her big brother's eyes. But at least with Bellamy, she can see the disappointment and acknowledgment of this new Octavia. There was something, however, about Madi that made her want to be the Octavia that Madi sees her as.

They make the return trip in only three and a half hours. No breaks were taken or even wanted, everyone just wanted to get back.

They slide down the ropes the prisoners left for them, and all quietly walk in different directions. Clarke walks deliberately in Lexa’s direction. She feels lucky to be alive, and lucky Lexa is as well. They could have very well just been in the direct path of the missile if they had not been warned. In her relief and exhaustion, all of their fighting seems quite ridiculous. Her indiscretion, should she say, was so long ago. They could very well be dead tomorrow and why should they go down fighting with each other? Right before Clarke makes it to Lexa, a hand catches her on the shoulder. Bellamy doesn’t look good, Clarke thinks. The stress is getting to him.

“Could I go with you to see Madi?” Bellamy requests.

“Yeah, of course.” Clarke responds, sounding exhausted.

“Clarke!” Clarke looks up at her name. Harper stands on the other stand of the fence in front of Octavia’s office. The door is open and Clarke can see her friends inside as Octavia enters as well. “Monty started a hydrofarm down here, he’s in there waiting talking to Octavia and Lexa about it.” It’s a good idea, Clarke acknowledges, but Octavia won’t like it. She is ready to go to war for the valley and making the bunker more livable won’t fit into her plans, especially if the people feel like there’s another option. They won’t go to war if they don’t have to.

Clarke nods, but is more preoccupied with another thought. “Where’s Madi?”

“Gaia gave her back to me when she started getting tired. She’s passed on in your room. I heard you guys come down, and I wanted to give you an update on what’s happening down here.” Harper tells her. Clarke is mildly annoyed that she left her alone, but she did the same thing last night so she can’t be too mad. She also knows that Harper isn’t a childcare expert, she’s just the first one to volunteer to watch her. Clarke nods.

“What happened with Gaia? Did Madi say anything?” Clarke questions. Did Gaia say anything to her about training? Being Heda? To Madi, there’s very little cooler than being Heda (maybe Skairipa coming very close) so she would jump at the opportunity to be the next commander if it was offered to her.

“She didn’t say anything to me. She was almost sleeping already when Gaia brought her to me. I told her a little story about being on the Ark and she was asleep within minutes. I think Gaia was just showing her the school and introducing her to the other little kids. Though, um, Madi’s the youngest kid here.” Harper explains. Clarke doesn’t like what she hears.

“Find me tomorrow, I need to know more, but right now I just want to go to sleep. I’ve been walking for hours.”

Clarke and Bellamy enter the room quietly. Madi is asleep, sprawled out in the middle of the bed. Clarke knows it’s going to be a long night of kicking and rolling over. Clarke walks over to Madi, and sits next to her on the bed. She looks so beautiful when she’s sleeping. So sweet and opposite from the craziness she usually takes part in during the day. Clarke feels overwhelmed with gratitude that Madi is hers. She rubs Madi’s back lightly.

Madi blinks awake. “Mama?” Clarke nods, leaning down to kiss her cheeks. Madi turns to Bellamy. “Daddy?”

“Yeah Madiren, I’m here too.” Bellamy says, walking over and hugging Madi. He picks her up, and Madi hangs on to him like a koala.

Clarke groans. “I hate that name.” Madi looks up at her with big eyes.

“Mommy you said a bad word!” Madi says in surprise. Bellamy looks up at Clarke shaking his head.

“That’s a bad choice, right?” Bellamy asks his little girl. Madi nods her head yes. Clarke rolls her eyes at the silliness. She takes Madi from Bellamy. Madi snuggles right into her.

“I think we should get you back to bed. Say goodnight to your dad, we’ll see him tomorrow.” Clarke says, lying Madi back in bed. Madi makes a grumpy face, but she doesn’t complain- she’s too tired.

Clarke and Bellamy make their way back into the hallway so they can talk without waking up Madi.

“I don’t want to go to war.” Clarke admits quietly. “I don’t think we have enough people, and not to mention their technology is superior to ours. We’ll lose.” Bellamy nods his head.

“Octavia seems to think-”

“Octavia is power hungry and a control freak.” Clarke argues in a hushed tone. “I love Octavia, but when she’s blodreina, I don’t trust her.”

“She’s my sister.” Bellamy reminds her, his anger growing. No one can talk badly about Octavia to him, not even Clarke. She’s his baby sister, even now.

“I understand that Bell, but this Octavia, the one we locked down here six years ago would sacrifice just about anything for control. I don’t want Madi to get put in the middle.” Clarke continues. “And I don’t want Madi’s childhood to be shaped by war. I don’t want her growing up alone.”

“She won’t be alone, she has us,” Bellamy says in attempt to comfort her.

“How many wars and battles have we been a part of? Our luck will run out eventually. With how few of us there are, I have a feeling it will be soon.” Clarke looks back to the partially closed door to her room. “Talk to your sister. See if she will see reason.” Clarke turns to leave, but she stops and turns her head, “for Madi.”


	19. Chapter 19

Clarke wakes up with a start. She’s been gently shaken awake, but it still activates her flight or fight response. Lexa’s sitting on the bed, giving her a sweet smile. Clarke turns to wake up Madi, but finds her missing. 

“Where’s Madi?” Clarke asks, quickly jumping out of bed. 

“She’s with Bellamy. I passed them on my way out of the council meeting. He said that he came by to see if you and Madi wanted to walk to breakfast together, but saw you still sleeping. Madi was awake so he took her so you could keep sleeping,” Lexa explains. Clarke relaxes a little. She sits back down. 

“Oh,” Clarke says. Madi’s with her dad and for the first time in a long time, Clarke feels without responsibility, at least for a little while. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing Clarke,” Lexa laughs. “You were still sleeping and it is nearly midday, I was worried something was wrong with you.” 

“Midday, really?” Clarke asks. It’s been years since she slept in that long. She hasn’t gotten much sleep in the past few nights, and has been stressing, so it makes sense that she would need some sleep. She is surprised that her anxiety didn’t wake her up like it had done in the past. 

“Yes.” Lexa says with a nod. “Also, we had a war council meeting. It is strange not leading it,” Lexa chuckles bitterly. “Anyway, Octavia wants to lead our people into a massacre. We are trying to talk her out of it, but she will not listen to anyone.” 

“She listens to Madi,” Clarke adds, but she doesn’t know why. It’s a stupid thing to point out, especially with their fight the other day. 

“Maybe we should let her talk to Octavia,” Lexa jokes. Her smile drops soon after, and she looks in Clarke’s eyes. “I have a terrible idea.” 

Clarke knocks on Octavia’s office door. She hears a muffled ‘enter’ from the other side and opens the door. 

“Hi Auntie O!” Madi says, skipping into the office. Octavia’s eyes light up, but dim as quickly as they lit. Madi either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, and climbs up onto Octavia’s lap. “What are you doing?” 

Octavia looks up at Clarke before answering. “Just grown up stuff. What are you doing?” She folds her papers and maps in half, and sets them to one side of the desk. 

“Nothing,” Madi shrugs. “I heard we’re going to war.” 

“Who told you that?” Octavia asks, glaring at Clarke. Madi shrugs, but she’s lying. Her mom and Lexa did. Clarke quickly leaves now that she sees that Madi’s got the ball rolling. “Yes we might be, kid. Some bad people stole your home and I’m trying to get it back for you.”

“What about this home? I like this new one,” Madi says, repeating what her mom told her. 

“This home is a temporary home- do you know what temporary means?” Madi shakes her head no. “For a small time. We’ve already been here too long.” Madi nods, Auntie O makes sense. “And anyway, no one steals from my niece and gets away with it.” 

“Why can’t we share?” Madi asks. “My mommy says sharing is a good choice. I always make good choices.” Madi brags. 

“I’m sure you do,” Octavia laughs. “Sometimes good choices and bad choices are hard to tell apart.” Madi shrugs. It’s not hard for her. Listening to mommy is a good choice, and being mean to mommy is a bad choice. Easy. 

“I don’t want you to go to war. My mommy said sometimes people die in war. I don’t want you to die.” Madi says quietly. She is breaking off from the script her mom told her to say, but she wants her auntie to know that she loves her. 

“Yeah, sometimes people do die.” Octavia admits. She doesn’t know how to comfort her. She doesn’t want to lie to her, but she also doesn’t want to say too much. Maybe she should just call Clarke back in. “I don’t know what’s going to happen.” Octavia takes Madi’s little hands in her own. Madi looks back up at her. “If I do, you still have your mom and your dad, and Lexa,” she adds nearly hissing. “It’ll be okay.”

“What about them? What if something happens to them?” Madi asks, her eyes getting wide. Octavia blinks at the question. If something happens to her parents and Octavia was still alive, of course she would take her. If something happens to all of them, she doesn’t know. If something happens to Lexa, Madi is the last natural nightblood. She becomes Heda. Madi’s only five, Octavia thinks. She can’t lead Wonkru, especially if they’re at war. 

“You shouldn’t worry yourself about grown up things,” Octavia responds finally. 

Madi shrugs. “My mom told me to.” She slaps her hand over her mouth. “Oops, she told me not to tell you that.”

Octavia clenches her jaw at Madi’s response. “You never have to keep a secret from me. Okay?” Madi nods. “How about this? Any time you hear anyone say don’t tell me something, you come tell me. You can be like a little spy.”

Madi’s eyes go wide. “Like Echo?” 

Unfortunately, Octavia thinks. “Exactly,” she says, pasting on a smile. “But it’s a secret, don’t tell your mom or Lexa or your dad. Don’t tell anyone.” 

“My mom said never to keep a secret from her,” Madi remembers. 

“It’s not a real secret,” Octavia clarifies. “It’s like a game. Do you like games?” 

Madi nods aggressively. “I love games.” 

Octavia offers Madi her pinky. “We’ll play a game, just the two of us.” Madi smiles and links her pinky with Octavia’s.


	20. Chapter 20

Clarke and Madi make their way from their quarters to the pit. Gaia has requested that Madi join in with the other children for daily lessons. Apparently even if they are about to go to war, the children must still study. To Clarke’s surprise, Octavia stands with Gaia. She assumed that she would be busy with her counsel; Lexa had said that they were meeting now. Clarke can’t help but wonder if that was the truth.

“Hello Madi, hello Clarke.” Gaia greets as she sees them walk over. Octavia turns to them as well. Madi looks up to her mom who gives her a small nod. Madi releases her mom’s hand and runs over to the other kids. They’re only about a dozen other children, the youngest being a scrawny eight year old boy. Madi runs straight up to a nine year old little girl. The older girl gives Madi a tight hug, making Madi laugh loudly. 

“Hey guys. What’s going on?” Clarke asks as she approaches Gaia and Octavia. Gaia nods, as she walks away. She joins the group of the children to begin their lessons. 

“I want to start Madi’s training. All of the Wonkru children have already begun.” Octavia requests. Madi, hearing the conversation is about her, runs over to her mom. 

“But Madi’s not Wonkru.” Clarke reminds Octavia. Clarke pulls Madi close to her and wraps her arms in front of them. 

“Then what is she?” Octavia asks, already annoyed. 

“She’s Shallow Valley.” Clarke clarifies.

“Is she?” Octavia asks. “Do either of you know anything of Shallow Valley’s culture? Their ways?” 

“Madi was born in Shallow Valley. She was raised in Shallow Valley. She might have come from two Skaikru parents, but she never lived on the Ark, she’s only ever lived in the valley.” Clarke responds, her frustration growing. 

“Do you want to be part of our people Madi?” Octavia asks, looking down at Madi. “You want to be Wonkru right?” 

“Yes!” Madi says excitedly. 

“We’re not Wonkru Octavia.” Clarke argues. 

“Then what are we Mommy?” Madi asks looking back at her mom. She’s grown up with the stories of her parents' lives on the Ark, and their adventures on the ground. Her mom always tells her how important it was to have her people, she would do anything for them, just like she would do anything for Madi. Madi desperately wishes to have a people of her own, beyond herself and her mom. 

Clarke sends Octavia a frustrated look, like Madi’s confusion was all her fault. “You’re Madi.” Clarke decides on. 

“I want to be Wonkru like Auntie O.” Madi says stomping her foot. Clarke has never known her to act like this. She has her tantrums, sure, but they are few and far between these days. Madi has never acted like a brat. Clarke picks her up, not wanting to discipline her in front of the other kids. 

“Enough Madi. This is between Auntie O and me.” Clarke whispers in Madi’s ear. Madi makes a grumpy face, and buries her face in her mom’s shoulder. “I appreciate the offer,” Clarke tells Octavia, “but we’re going to have to pass for now.” 

“I want to train Madi as my second.” Octavia continues. Madi’s head shoots up. Octavia gives Madi a little wink. “I’ll train her myself, and in a few years she’ll be my second.” 

“Please mommy! Please! Please!” Madi begs. 

“Madi Griffin enough!” Clarke snaps. Madi makes little fists with her hands. She really wants to smack her mom with them. She knows better though. Last time Madi hit her mom, she was in timeout and had what felt like an hour long lecture on why that’s not a good choice. It’s very frustrating that her mom isn’t listening to her, though. She used to always listen to Madi’s opinion, they were like a little team. Why was her mom pushing her away? “I said no, Octavia. The answer is no, and it will always be a no.” Gaia, hearing the commotion, excuses herself from the kids and walks over to Clarke and Octavia. 

“If it makes you feel any better, Clarke, I can help with her training as well. I will be with her the whole way.” Gaia explains, trying to assuage Clarke’s worries. 

“I appreciate that, but I don’t want Madi to fight. She’s five.” Clarke responds. 

“Natblida children start their training even younger than Madi is now. I know of children starting at the age of three.” Gaia points out. This doesn’t have the effect she is hoping for. 

“Madi might be a nightblood, but she will not be living like how they did before Praimfaya.” Clarke says, shaking her head. How many ways will she have to say no?

“How will she be ready to be the next commander if hasn’t been properly trained? Or taught?” Gaia asks, concern seeping through her words. Clarke sets Madi down and pushes her wordlessly to the other children. Madi goes without a fight. 

“She will not be the next commander.” Clarke hisses. 

“Clarke, that’s unrealistic.” Gaia says as calmly as she can. “It is her birthright, she was born to be the next commander.”

“She was not born to do anything, but to be happy and healthy.” Clarke argues. 

“The people will not stand for it.” Gaia reminds her. “At the time of Lexa’s death, the flaim will enter Madi’s head.” Clarke turns to Octavia. 

“Is this what you want for her?” Clarke asks bitterly. 

Octavia shakes her head. “Not like this Clarke. She needs proper training, I can give that to her.” 

“So she can be your little puppet? You want control of both sides, so you’ll have to have control of the commander and Lexa’s certainly not handing it over.” Clarke responds, hot anger rising in her body. “And anyway, in my dream world: Lexa doesn’t die until she’s in her late nineties from old age. When Madi’s eighty, and if there’s no other option by then, then yes she can receive the flaim.” 

“You are being unreasonable.” Gaia critiques. 

“I am being her mother,” Clarke stands up straighter and tries to regain composure. “We can revisit this topic when Madi is a teenager, but for now, no you cannot train my five year old in combat training.” 

“We do not only teach combat training. This is a school, we learn everything. Please allow Madi to stay for her academic lessons. We’re about to start history,” Gaia pleas. It is important, Clarke knows, for Madi to not only receive an education, but also to be around other children. Though she doesn’t trust either Gaia, or Octavia to drop the subject. 

“For an hour,” Clarke relents. “I’ll be back in one hour and if I hear one fucking thing about you talking to her about the commanders, I swear to God.”

“You have my word,” Gaia promises. Octavia nods, but Clarke knows better than to trust her. At least she has to go back to work, though, and won’t be able to say anything to Madi. 

“Madi,” Clarke exclaims loudly. Madi turns her head to her mom, but doesn’t move. “I’m going now. I’ll come back in one hour. If you need me, Gaia can radio me.” Madi smiles bigger than Clarke has seen in a long time. “Ok. I love you. Be good. No fighting,” she adds mostly for Gaia and Octavia. She makes her way back up and to the residential wing. She watches Madi the whole way. Madi sits crisscrossed with the other children, and they all look up to Gaia. Clarke thinks Madi will look up and wave so she walks slowly. Madi watches Gaia closely, and whatever they were just asked, Madi is the first one with her hand up. Clarke reaches the door, but looks over the railing once more, just in case. Madi’s laughing, and talking with the other kids. She’s fine, Clarke accepts, and leaves. 

“Madi,” Octavia calls. “Come.” Madi stands up without a fight and walks silently to her aunt. Octavia makes eye contact with Gaia. “Not a word.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates! Happy holidays to those who celebrate something different this month. Happy weekend to everyone else :)
> 
> Also I realized that my timeline is off, so I’m trying to get it back on track

As promised, Clarke returns in exactly one hour. Madi is exactly where she left her, in a circle, sitting crisscrossed with the other children. Clarke wants to stay quiet not to interrupt the other kids. Gaia gives her smile when she sees her coming. 

“Madi,” Gaia says quietly. She points behind the kids where Clarke stands. Madi whips her head around and smiles widely when she sees her mom. Her smile dims a little, Clarke observes, but she still runs into Clarke’s arms. 

“Did you have fun?” Clarke asks, picking Madi up. Madi hugs her around the neck tightly. 

“Yep! We had fun!” Madi responds. She turns to look at her friends. She wiggles around, her way of saying she wants to get down. Clarke let’s her down and keeps a hold of her hand. “Bye!” Madi says, waving. The kids all wave and tell her goodbye. Clarke nearly has to drag her out of the room, Madi continues waving and saying bye to her friends. Was she like this as a kid? Clarke wonders. Or is it more because this is the first time Madi has been around other kids? Clarke was quite a shy kid, which surprised her friends when she told them, and usually only played with Wells. 

Once they leave, Clarke asks Madi again, “did you have fun?”

Madi nods. It’s not a lie, Madi thinks. She really did have fun with Auntie O. They played kicking and blocking. According to her aunt, Madi’s a natural. Madi wants to tell her mommy all about it. She always tells her mom everything. Auntie O said not to tell, this was going to be a surprise for her mommy and after she would be so happy. Of course Madi doesn’t want to ruin a good surprise, so she doesn’t tell her. Auntie O said it’s okay to lie in order to not ruin the surprise. Madi tells her first ever lie: “Azlea my best friend even though she’s bigger than me. And Tovin is my friend too. He’s a boy but he’s not my boyfriend.” Madi explains. 

Clarke looks at her curiously. “What do you know about boyfriends?” 

Madi shrugs, “some of the big kids. Kylen and Riya are boyfriend girlfriend.” At least, this she knows, is not a lie. She heard them talk a little before and after her lesson with her aunt. “Mina said that me and Tovin were boyfriend girlfriend, but that’s a lie.” 

Clarke listens, and realizes she might have to have a word with Gaia. The older kids in her group are already almost teenagers, and little Madi shouldn’t be hearing these things. “Well that sounds interesting.” Clarke finally manages to say. “Did you do any actual learning? Or did you guys just gossip the whole time?” She asks with a laugh. Madi just shrugs and runs in front of her. “When I left, you guys were all in a circle. What was Gaia talking about?” Madi stops in her tracks. She doesn’t know. Gaia was just asking them about what the kids did on their recess before Octavia pulled her away. Madi turns around. 

“I don’t remember.” She says. 

“You don’t remember?” Clarke laughs. “You were just there a minute ago.” 

“Mommy, I have a little brain.” Madi reminds her. Clarke shrugs, Madi does make a good point. 

“Gaia said you guys were going to learn history. Did you learn about Wonkru history, grounder history, about the Ark? What?” Clarke tries to jog Madi’s memory. 

“I don’t remember mommy.” Madi whines. “Can I go see Daddy?” Clarke is taken aback. 

“Y-yeah of course.” Clarke stutters. “Are you mad at me Madi?” Madi looks forward and away from her mom. 

“I just want to see Daddy.” Madi says quietly. Clarke takes Madi’s hand.

“Ok baby. We’ll go see your dad.” 

Luckily it didn’t take too long to find Bellamy. He is in his room when the girls come by. His face brightens when he sees his daughter. 

“Hi Madiren.” He greets, picking her up in a hug. Madi giggles and hugs him back. 

“Hi daddy.” Madi responds. Clarke stands awkwardly in the doorway. 

“So she wanted to spend some time with you, is now good?” Clarke asks. A selfish voice in her head wishes he will say that no, now isn’t a good time, and let Madi return with Clarke. She pushes those feelings deep down because she knows Madi spending time with her dad will benefit both of them. It doesn’t mean it’s not hard, though. 

“You want to spend time with me?” Bellamy asks Madi. She nods quickly. 

“Well, yeah,” she responds, sass seeping through. 

“Okay, I was going to meet Octavia, but I guess it can wait. Unless you want to come with me to see Auntie O?” Bellamy asks, looking at Madi. Madi nods, a little less sure this time. 

“No.” Clarke quickly steps in. “I don’t want her to be around Octavia without me.” Bellamy raises his eyebrows. “When I went to take her to school, O was there. She was trying to get me to let her train Madi.” 

“What’s wrong with that?” 

“Are you crazy?” Clarke asks and looks at Bellamy like he has two heads. “She wants to train her to be the next H-E-D-A.” Clarke spells so Madi can’t understand. Madi looks between her mom and dad suspiciously. What are they not telling her? “Do you really want that for her?” 

“No,” Bellamy relents. “I don’t want her to lose her childhood. I did and Octavia did. I want Madi to be a kid, and then grow up to be anything she wants.” 

“I want to be a butterfly,” Madi adds. She flaps her hands like butterfly wings. Her silliness makes Clarke and Bellamy laugh. 

“Dream big kid!” Clarke tells her, still laughing. 

“You can be anything you want.” Bellamy tells Madi and kisses the top of her head. “But maybe not a butterfly, you know, because you’re human.” Madi pouts. She’s going to have to come up with another plan. 

“Anyway,” Clarke continues, “I think Octavia will try to influence her in that direction. I would feel a lot more comfortable if you would hold off bringing Madi around your sister while we figure this out.” 

Bellamy nods. “That make-”

Someone running loudly down the hallway interrupts Bellamy. Monty runs around the corner and skids to a stop when he sees Bellamy, Clarke and Madi. 

“It’s Murphy and Raven. They were taken by the prisoners.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate on going support in this fic. I know people are invested in Lexa and Clarke. Me too, that’s why I wanted to write this :)   
> Be patient. Lexa is still in the War Room with Blodreina, trying to save her people. She will return next chapter and even more the following. 
> 
> Again, this a Clarke centered fic. If Madi is the most important person in her life, being daughter and all, of course Clarke is going to spend a lot of time with her and the people important to Madi like her dad and her auntie. Clarke considers Bellamy just the baby daddy and a close friend. There will be no bellarke in this fic!!
> 
> Happy reading!

“How do we get to them?” Clarke asks. Bellamy sets Madi down, and steps closer to Monty. 

“Emori, Echo, and Harper are getting a rover ready. They told me to come get you guys.” Monty explains. Clarke looks at Bellamy and then to Madi. If Harper and Monty are going, she doesn’t have another babysitting option. 

“When do we leave?” Clarke asks, hoping to gauge how much time she has to find someone.

“Like now. Once I return with you two, we’re going to go scout.” Monty answers. 

“And Lexa?” Clarke asks. Hostage negotiations, or any communication with the prisoners, can’t be done without her. 

“I went to her first. She’s in war council meetings with Octavia, who we didn’t want to tell about this, because of the whole, you know, wanting to lead us into a massacre thing.” Monty responds. Without Lexa, Clarke didn’t know how this would go down. “She said that at least if we have you, it should be fine.” Clarke warms at the sentiment. It’s not often Lexa gives compliments, so when she does you know it’s true and you’ve earned it. Lexa believes in Clarke’s ability. 

“Ok,” Bellamy says. “Do we have any kind of plan?” 

“This is just a scouting mission. The plan is not to get caught.” Monty says. “Oh and not to die. That’s an important part of the plan.” Bellamy throws his hands up. This is exactly why he likes making the plans, no one else knows how to do it right. 

“Let me say bye to Madi.” Clarke says, kneeling down to get on Madi’s level. 

“You have to go again?” Madi asks, holding back tears. Clarke nods and grabs Madi’s face and kisses both of her cheeks. 

“I love you and I’ll see you in the morning.” Clarke tells her, standing back up. 

“I’ll see you in the morning, too,” Bellamy says, kneeling to kiss Madi’s forehead. Clarke’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

“What are you talking about?” Clarke asks as he stands back up. “You’re not coming.” 

“Of course I’m coming, Clarke. Where else would I be?” Bellamy asks. 

“With your daughter.” Clarke answers, emphasizing each syllable like she’s explaining a new concept to a child. 

“No, I’m going.” Bellamy argues, holding strong to his position. These are his friends, family really. Not to mention they spent every day of the last six years together. He needs to go. 

“Who is going to stay with her?” Clarke asks with raised eyebrows, waiting for him to understand. “Harper is going and I can’t ask her to stay.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because Madi’s not her responsibility, she’s not her child.” Clarke argues. What part of this is hard to grasp? Clarke wonders. 

“Then you stay with her.” Bellamy fires back. 

“Oof,” Monty groans before he can stop himself. This was not going to end well for Bellamy. 

Clarke ignores it. “I did stay with her. For almost six years.”

“That’s not fair. I didn’t even know she existed then. And there was no way for me to be here. I didn’t just abandon the two of you. You know I would have been there everyday if I could.” Bellamy argues. 

“Then be here now. We really don’t have time for this. Lexa left me in charge-”

“No, she didn’t say that.” Monty interrupts to correct her. 

Again, Clarke ignores him. “We need to go. Stay with your daughter, okay?” 

“Why do you get to decide? She belongs to both of us.” Bellamy reminds her. 

“And if Octavia comes looking for you? Then what? You can’t explain an absence for too long in a bunker.” 

“She won’t. She’s busy.” Bellamy argues. 

“She might and we can’t take that chance. We don’t have time for this, I have to go. In case you forgot, our friends are in trouble.”

“Murphy and Raven are just as important to me. I’m every bit as capable and clever as you are contrary to what you believe, princess.” Clarke stares Bellamy down, thinking of her next move. She suddenly leans down to kiss the top of Madi’s head. 

“Why don’t you tell your daddy about your new boyfriend?” Clarke adds.

Bellamy looks down at Madi in shock. “Boyfriend?” By the time he looks up, Clarke has already rounded the corner and is out of sight. He sighs. Maybe she is more clever than he. “Let’s go Madi,” he says as they walk back into his room. “I want to hear about this boyfriend of yours. You know when I was kid, daddy’s had to give their approval of any potential suitors for their daughters.”

Clarke and Monty run as fast as they can up and out of the bunker without looking suspicious. If they wanted to leave without Octavia’s knowledge, then they would have to be sneaky. Whenever they pass someone, they slow and pretend to have a conversation. As soon as they’re out of view, they start running again. 

They finally make it to the rover outside of the bunker where Echo, Emori, and Harper are anxiously waiting. 

“Where’s Bellamy?” Echo asks and looks inside, trying to see if he is coming up next. 

“With Madi.” Clarke explains shortly. Echo and Emori share a glance in confusion. Clarke slides into the driver seat without further explanation. The rest of the group hop in behind her. 

They make it to the valley in just under an hour. Clarke drove as fast as the rover would allow. By the time they arrive, it’s already dark. They hide the rover in a cave not too far from their position. As far as they know, the prisoners ship could still be circling them, ready to fire another missile. They split up throughout the woods. 

Seeing movement and hearing noises deeper in the woods, Echo stealthily jumps down from her hiding position in a tree. She lands almost silently. Her moves are graceful like a ballerina. Her years of teachings and training from the late Queen Nia are obvious; she can move without being heard or seen. 

The culprit of the noise appears suddenly. Echo jumps on his back, a hand quick to cover his mouth. 

“Could you be any louder?” She hisses in his ear. Echo looks around, making sure he is the only one, before hopping off his back. 

Murphy turns around. “Oh thank God.” He hugs her quickly without thinking. Echo stands still and awkward, not used to this closeness and intimacy with Murphy or any of her friends for that matter. He lets go of her and mutters his apologies. Echo clears her throat, otherwise ignoring the entire situation. 

Echo makes a series of whistle sounds. The rest of the group appears from all different directions. Relief of Murphy’s presence is evident on their faces. Clarke is the first one to lean in to hug him. She notices the shock collar and grabs his hand instead. She gives a tight squeeze and let’s go. 

“Are you okay?” Clarke asks.

“Is that a shock collar?” Monty asks, reaching in to touch it. Murphy smacks his hand away. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” 

“Where’s Raven?” Echo asks. 

“She’s still with the prisoners,” Murphy explains. 

“You left her, of course you did.” Emori responds, frustration and anger clear in her voice and on her face. His selfishness never ceases to surprise, Emori thinks. 

“She made a deal to get me released.” Murphy explains. “We should get going. They’re still up there waiting for Octavia to march her army again.” 

“Lexa’s doing her best to stop Octavia from doing that.” Clarke tells him. “We’re doing our best to keep Octavia from dooming us all to a war we can’t win.” Murphy nods. 

“We should probably get out of here. Where’s the rover?” He asks. 

“Over there in a bear cave.” Clarke says. They head in that direction. 

Murphy halts when he hears that. “And the bears?” He asks, wondering why no one else is freaked out. He did not just survive torture to be mauled to death by bears.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! I don’t think I’m going to read comments anymore. I started this story with the best intentions and because it was fun for me, but the accusations and hate is getting too much. If I see anyone post any of those accusations, I’m going to delete the comment right away, even if it’s put nicely. I’ve explained myself more times than I needed to, and I’m just over it. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone that continues to give their support. You’re the reason I’m continuing this fic :)

Once they make it back to the rover, everybody jumps in quickly. Clarke takes the driver's seat, and Murphy sits next to her. 

“What’s going on in the bunker?” Murphy asks. While he and Raven were aboard the prisoner ship they received some updates; enough to hear that Octavia become a crazy cannibalistic leader. Their updates and checks-in were sparse and didn’t hear much more than that. 

No one quite knows what to say, the situation baffling them still. Clarke pipes up first, “there’s a definite power struggle between O and Lexa, but I think they’re figuring it out.” The rest of the group nods and shrugs. It is hard to tell what is true and what’s an act with Lexa and Octavia. “Half of the people have aligned themselves with Heda and the other half with Blodreina.” 

“Lexa probably doesn-“ Murphy is interrupted by a shock released from the collar. His screams cause Clarke to swerve the rover. “Back! Back! Go back!” Clarke is momentarily frozen in surprise, but shakes herself out of it and drives the rover in reverse. Murphy sighs in relief once they have gone back far enough. “You guys should keep going. They probably have a tracker in this thing anyway.” Murphy is already trying to climb out of the rover. Clarke grabs his arm to stop him. 

“I’m not leaving you.” Clarke announces. “You guys can take the rover back, but I’m staying.” 

“Me too,” Harper agrees. 

“Me too,” Monty says as well. He grabs Harper’s hand with a smile. 

“Yeah, I’ll stay too.” Echo chimes in. All eyes turn to Emori. 

“You don’t have to.” Murphy tells her. 

“Thank you.” Emori responds, nodding. “But I will.” They keep eye contact with each other, a light smile grows on Emori’s cheeks. She rolls her eyes for good measure, not trying to get too emotional. 

Clarke doesn’t hesitate and drives the rover back to the cave. 

“What happened with the prisoners? What did they do to you guys?” Harper asks. They have all been wondering, but just waiting for the right moment to ask. 

“They tortured us.” Murphy says plainly. “They wanted information about the Ring, and the bunker. Plus Raven blocked their signal so they couldn’t blast you guys with the missiles anymore, which clearly pissed them off.” Though he seems like regular joking Murphy, something is off and they can all tell. 

“What did they do to her?” Harper asks softly. 

“Poured water over her head and threatened to shock her.” Murphy says in monotone. He stares out the front window, avoiding eye contact. As bad as it is to talk about, it is even worse to witness. He knows he won’t get the image out of his for a long time. He collects himself quickly, not wanting to be too serious, “and then she agreed to bring the signal back up if they let me go.” He indicates to himself with a swoop of his hands, “hence me being here.”

The distance between the invisible barrier and the cave is not far, and they return quickly afterwards. They all get out again, preparing for a long night. 

“Klark?” A voice appears over the rovers radio. “Clarke are you there? It is Lexa over.” They all look curiously over to the rover. Clarke hops back in the driver’s seat, this time leaving the door wide open and picks up the radio. 

“Yes I’m here.” She responds quickly. There’s something about Lexa’s presence, or in this case just her voice, that fills Clarke with peace. “We ran into a bit of an issue and we’re stuck in a cave in the valley. Over.” 

“A shocking turn of events, one might say,” Murphy pipes up. 

“Issue? Are you alright?” Lexa asks anxiously. “Oh and everyone else too.” She adds quickly. 

“Yeah thanks for that,” Echo jokes. “We spent six years together and we’re barely given an afterthought. Disrespectful really.” 

“We’re all fine.” Clarke says ignoring the comments. “We found Murphy. He’s fine, but he has a shock collar. They set up a barrier and we can’t cross it without him getting fried.” Clarke explains. “Over.”

“What can I do?” Lexa asks, always the problem solver. Clarke looks up at her friends silently asking if they need something. They shake their heads no. 

“I don’t think there’s anything that can be done. We’ll try to remove the collar and get back to you.” Clarke responds. 

“Wait, wait remove the what?” Murphy asks. 

“Don’t be such a baby.” Emori tells him, rolling her eyes. “I can do it.” 

“Okay, well if there’s nothing I can do, I’ll let you guys go,” Lexa says. “Over.”

“Wait,” Clarke squeeze the radio tighter. She doesn’t have anything else to say about the situation, she just wants to hear Lexa’s voice a little longer. It hasn’t been that long since they saw each other, just that morning really, but even so Clarke misses her. Lexa’s been busy with Octavia and talking her down, while Clarke’s been busy with Madi and being dragged around all over with her. “When I get back, can we talk?” Clarke asks quietly. Not quiet enough, it seems, Murphy is oohing and Echo wiggles her eyebrows at them. She stops the transmission. “Just talk.” 

“Sure,” Murphy jokes. 

“Yeah, I would like that very much.” Lexa responds. Her voice sounds hopeful, Clarke notes happily. Maybe there is hope for them yet! 

Murphy wolf whistles and Monty fakes barfing. 

“I don’t think we were supposed to hear that,” Monty says out of breath, like he really was vomiting. He shutters, “I can’t unhear that.” 

“The mental images,” Murphy says grabbing his head in disgust. 

“Will you two please shut up?” Clarke asks with a raised voice. Monty looks like he wants to continue, until he receives a sharp look from Harper and stares at his feet instead. 

“Whipped.” Murphy laughs, until receiving a light smack from Emori and also looks the other direction. 

“Are you two finished?” Clarke hisses. 

“Clarke? Are you still there?” Lexa asks over the radio. 

“Yeah, they’ll stop.” Emori responds for them. 

“Yeah, sorry I’m here, I’m dealing with two idiots.” Clarke tells her, a pointed look to the guys. 

“Murphy and Monty?” Lexa guesses with a laugh. 

“Ouch,” Monty jokes. 

“Hurtful,” Murphy adds. 

“Truly painful,” Monty continues. 

“At least their making themselves laugh, no one else though,” Clarke says rolling her eyes at them. 

“No, not one,” Echo says blankly. Clarke points to Echo with raised eyebrows, silently saying “see? I’m not the only you annoy.” 

“Anyway,” Clarke says continuing the transmission. “I don’t know when we’ll be home. I don’t know how long it’ll take to remove this collar, but if I had to guess, it’ll take a couple hours at least. We probably won’t be back until at least midday.” 

“What should I tell Octavia?” Lexa asks. Screw Octavia, Clarke wants to yell her crazyass is the reason their in this situation in the first place. 

“Stall her as long as you can, and then maybe that we needed some fresh air or something.” 

“Yeah that’s not going to work.” Murphy speaks up. 

“No chance,” Monty includes. Murphy shakes his head and before he can say something, Clarke reaches the radio out for them. 

“Do you have a better idea? Here take it if you think you do.” Clarke offers. Both of them stay still. “That’s what I thought.” She turns back on the transmission. “I don’t know if that’ll work, I’m receiving negative feedback over here.” 

“We do not know anything until we try,” Lexa responds. She doesn’t sound very optimistic, Clarke realizes with a frown. 

“Or whatever you think.” Clarke backpeddles.

“I will have to see when the time comes. I have to go, I hear someone coming. Over and out.”

“You’re fucked.” Murphy says. 

“Literally,” Monty responds nudging him. No one stops her when Clarke rushes over to hit them.


End file.
